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How Long Does It Take to Grieve?
How many times do we have to get up, put one foot in front of the other and get on with it? When does the grief process end?
I Am Wailing
Itís now a year and a half since her death and I feel the anguish as real today as I did that very first horrific day. I am wailing still and imagine I always will.
I Still Have To Be Mom
You don't even want to brush your teeth let alone be responsible for someone else. You just want to be numb. How is it possible that we can still be a mom to our living children?
If I Were A Pilot, I'd Ground Myself
Over the last 17 months, there is no way I could have performed any task that required any extensive level of thought. My thinking process is skewed, my thoughts are random and unfocused.
Into the New Year Without Our Children
A new year without my daughter feels incomprehensible. There is nothing to be excited about, there is no positive outlook. This calendar change is bleak and unwelcoming. There is no room among the sadness to make way for new and better ideas, attitudes and changes.
It Doesn't Get Easier
My daughter died two and a half years ago and it feels like yesterday. I am not better; Iím just getting used to feeling this way.
It Is Right To Stay Here
Am I crazy to contemplate leaving this life to be with my deceased child? Is it normal to think about taking my own life so that I might find my dear daughter and be together again? Is it ok to want to leave this world to be with her in her new world? If I leave this place, will the pain go away?
It's Been Two Years
Itís been two years since our eight year old daughter died. The only thing that has changed is our ability to pretend in the real world that we are ok. It is a faÁade.
It's Mother's Day Again
Today I write in honor of all moms who have lost their precious children.
Just Keep Swimming...
Itís summer time and I watch my 6 year old learn to swim down to retrieve a diving bar. A simple task to some but for us, it is a monumental reminder that she can breathe and her 8 year old sister could not. It is a tribute to the strength of her sister who kept going even when it was so hard.
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