Guest Author - Karen Ledbetter
Most potential birth parents are honest and sincere about their desires to make adoption plans for their children. This is a very difficult and emotional decision to be made, and an honest birth parent can make an adoption plan and then change his or her mind after the babyīs birth. This does NOT make that person a scam artist. There is a huge difference between a birth parent making an adoption plan, then changing his or her mind, and a scam artist.
A scam artist may promise a baby to several adoptive families or may promise a nonexistent baby to a family. Some scammers ask for money. Others never ask for a penny. Some scammers are so good that they even fool honest and ethical adoption agencies, facilitators, and attorneys.
All prospective adoptive families must educate themselves and make wise choices in working with birth parents. Scammers posing as birth parents tend to have several common denominators.
Ask lots of questions, and verify all the information that a potential birth parent gives you. A legitimate birth parent will usually give you a real phone number where s/he can be reached and will willingly send proof of pregnancy and other documents to you or your adoption agency/attorney/facilitator. She should also be willing to talk with your agency/attorney/facilitator, and she should not miss appointments. Spend the extra money for caller ID so youīll know the number that a potential birth parent calls from. Verify addresses and phone numbers at web sites such as anywho.com or 411.com.
Verify the names, addresses, and phone numbers of physicians caring for a potential birth mother. Call the doctorīs office and ask if s/he is caring for the birth mother and request verification of pregnancy. A legitimate birth mother will provide all information needed and will sign any release of information forms necessary.
If a birth parent seems to have several financial crises, asks for money for food, rent, car repairs, etc., this could be a red flag. Another red flag is a birth parent wanting to bring the baby to you. In most cases, a legitimate birth mother wants the adoptive parents to come to her. Scammers have been known to ask for plane tickets, only to cash the tickets in, with no intention of ever boarding a plane. NEVER give money (or plane tickets) directly to a potential birth parent.
A scammer will give different versions of a similar story to each family that she is working with. Join adoption boards such as abcadoptions.com to see if anyone else has had contact with a particular birth parent. While itīs entirely possible for a potential birth mother to be carrying a girl or twins, girls and twins are very common among scammers.
Be wise. Protect yourself. If a situation doesnīt sound right, itīs okay to decline. If youīre patient, the right birth parent WILL come along.
