Guest Author - Deborah Pipas

Having faced a family crisis a few years ago in regard to disability has opened my eyes and my heart to those who are disabled as well as their families, friends and caregivers. When we or someone we love is born with a disability adjustments are made from the moment of birth. We live with it as best we can and move on through life. What seems natural to us is often shocking to others.
I was grocery shopping the other day and notice a young woman pushing a small child in a wheelchair with her right hand and with her left she pulled the grocery cart with another child in a wheelchair following closely behind. I didn’t want to stare, but of course curiosity got the best of me. I watched for a few moments as discreetly as possible. That image has played itself out in my mind a thousand times since that day. Momentarily, I thanked God for the health of my children and grandchildren and went on about my shopping.

Later that evening as I shared the encounter with my husband, I expressed shame for not having offered to help her in some small way. My thoughts drifted back to the years when my children were small and we would go grocery shopping. Like any other young family there was the constant get back over here Billy, don’t touch that Suzy. Back then I thought my life was difficult trying to parent a set of twins and my oldest child. After seeing that little family train the other day, I became so aware of how blessed our family really is and how often I have failed to offer help. I now realize that I was afraid of rejection and often thought I didn’t have enough time to do my own chores much less share those of someone else.

Since that day I’ve thought many times about the cost of groceries alone without even considering medication, equipment, or caregiver assistance. In this day and time the prices are enormous and I’ve often pondered how young families today are getting by financially. Perhaps that young mother couldn’t afford a caregiver and still be able to buy groceries that day. Or maybe she was willing to extend that much effort just so that her little ones could get out of the house for a while.

Every now and then I think about that young woman and how tiring her days must be. I often wonder if I had been in that situation would I have even attempted such a chore as grocery shopping with two wheelchair bound children?

I’m sure that as I become older myself I am more aware of these things but it is my sincere hope to find a way to be an advocate for the disabled as well as their families. I greatly admire that young mother, should I ever see her again I hope the opportunity will arise to tell her so.

I see examples daily out in public of people struggling with disability in some form or fashion. I realize there are many other difficulties in life, however being the parent or caregiver in such circumstances must be the most mentally tiring and physically challenging duty we will ever perform.

I genuinely have a heart for disabled people and I want to do all that I can to help. God has blessed me with the gift of words so maybe I can use that gift as a way to point out to others how important a random act of kindness can be.

Was I too busy that day to say to that young mother can I help you? Perhaps I could push your cart and help you load your groceries into your vehicle. By my standards, I failed that day, but I learned something new from the experience. The next time I see someone in need of assistance I will be more willing to offer help in some way. I know that my offer will not always be met with a yes. Some folks prefer to be left alone to struggle through the trials of life. Others will gladly say yes, I can use the help. Whatever the case, in the future if I at least offer to help I truly believe I will have done my servant duty to God by stepping up to the challenge, extending a helping hand and just letting someone else know that I do care about their situation.