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Living Without Spouses

I knew it! Being single has replaced marriage as the main institution that organizes peopleís lives. At least that is what I read in the news recently. The article stated that about 51% of women in America live without a spouse. In other words, they are single.

However, that number didnít surprise me because almost every intelligent, successful, and happy woman I know is single. In addition, every great woman that they know is single too. On it goes. Moreover, the one thing that Iíve noticed over the years is that going out alone, or just with friends, is no longer a time of talking about being solo. We used to talk about men, what we wanted or didnít want. What we had or didnít have. We talked about our children, or our bosses, our loneliness. Mainly we talked about how great it was to just have an evening for just the Ďígirls.íí Not any more!

Now we talk about our life goals, our accomplishments, politics, and the work that we do within our communities. While some of us are dating, and others still looking, the discussions seem to center around growth and moving forward - Not whether we are in a relationship or not. However, I donít really remember when this change in conversation topic took place. Just that over the years Iíve felt increasingly comfortable being out with my single friends and that we seemed to laugh more often.

While sudden change still throws us all for a loop, and on occasion we all have to take a step back and rewrite the script. Many of us still feel nervous about rejection and the influence of group thinking can still sway our way of independent thinking. Still, we relish our independence and take pride in how far we have come from our past lives into our present while constantly looking at new ways of thinking about our future.

We peruse magazines and websites, or newspapers for stories that give us a new perspective on an old situation. Nevertheless, feeling overwhelmed at times, and needing some help in seeing a clear path toward the future does not diminish our strength in any way. While some may see the need for guidance as a weakness, the truth is that once we identify our limiting thought patterns it opens the door to rapid change.

So, now that we know that over half the women in America are living single and that most of them feel rejuvenated by their status Ė it is nice know that we have lots of company.







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