I must apologize to all of you readers for being absent recently. Whether you call it God, fate, Karma, or bad luck; my life has been hit by a series of deaths lately.

In planning my High School class’ 20 year reunion, I found out that one of the girls I graduated with very recently committed suicide. She had apparently been suffering from clinical Depression for some time (as I do), and I could not help but feel that had I gotten in touch with her – possibly she might have had someone to talk to, and not felt the need to kill herself. This may not have happened, but it is hard not to wonder “what if?”

Then my 34 year old cousin was killed in a car accident. She had been sitting in the backseat of the car, but did not have her seatbelt on. The other driver was speeding, but there was no alcohol or drugs involved, it was mostly bad luck.

Finally, my grandmother’s husband (my step-grandfather) had lung cancer, so his death was not unexpected; it just came much quicker than we had anticipated. He had originally been given 2 years, but then suddenly his kidneys failed and he was given 2 months. He passed away 5 days later.

On one hand all of this death has cast a pall around here. It is hard not to feel incredibly saddened and wonder “why?” when so many things happen at once. The flip side is that it has made me look at life in a different life.

I am married and have 3 children; a 17 year old son, 11 year old daughter, and 6 year old son. All of my kids are involved in some type of extracurricular sport and/or activity. Then there is the fact that my oldest son has Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of Autism), and so sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis. We are also involved with church and as I mentioned above, I am helping to plan my class reunion. My calendar looks like it is planned out in 1 hour increments some days, and it is planned out 3 months in advance.

But, because of the deaths (especially my cousin’s) it hit me that all of my planning ahead could be useless. There is no guarantee that I will be here next Thursday to attend my next reunion meeting, or even tomorrow to take my daughter to cheerleading tryouts. There is not even the certainty that I will not be in a car accident on the way to pick up the kids from school today.

I know this seems like an extremely morbid thought, but it leads directly to the next thought; if I can’t be certain of tomorrow, then I need to make the absolute most of today.

This is not a groundbreaking idea.

• “Believe me, wise men do not say 'I shall live on.' Tomorrow's life's too late; live today.” - Martial full name MarcusValerius Martialis”


• ”Only the person who lives for today lives at all.” -Joachim du Bellay


• “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Albert Einstein


• "Often, the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among the seemingly insignificant events of life. If we do not pay attention to these events, we can easily miss the opportunities." - Jim Rohn

Yet regardless of how many wise men have pointed this out to me, it took having it shown to me to get my attention.

Now I pick my kids up from school and I make sure to spend some time with them each day. Yes, I still plan for the future, it is foolish not to, but I don’t put everything off until the future anymore.

My oldest son will be a Senior in high school next year, so I am sucking up all the school experiences I can still get from him – he doesn’t have all that long left. My daughter is rapidly changing from a little girl into a beautiful young lady. I am trying very hard not to be terrified by that fact and am instead enjoying watching her bloom before my eyes, and making sure she knows that I am here for anything she needs from me. My youngest is an enormous source of amusement for me. He says things that I have to fight not to laugh at because he is just so serious (as only a Kindergartener can be). I know only too well how short this phase is, and he is my last – so I am enjoying it.

I am going out with friends more, going outside more, taking more drives to places that I keep meaning to get to, but just haven’t yet. I now keep my camera in my car so that when I see something beautiful, I can take a picture of it. Above all – I look. It is amazing all the things that I have not been seeing.

Please, let my lesson be your lesson. Don’t let it take sorrow and grief to open your eyes to the life around you. Start living you life today.