For example your ex is strongly religious and pro life, completely over to the right and you are completely to the left, pro choice, and not religious. How do you help your child deal with that type of difference between households? How do you avoid criticizing the other parent or being criticized by him? Should it even concern you at all?
The first thing to remember is that you can only control yourself, so you are not responsible for the behavior of your ex, nor do you need to provide any offense or defense. No explanation is necessary other than if asked the question, why, that many children ask. Then you explain, everyone has a right to their own views, this is what I believe, when you get older and have more experience you might believe something else and that is just fine.
You have a wonderful opportunity to teach something very important to your child. It is called tolerance .
Lets look at what tolerance means, according to Dictionary.com Tolerance means: a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.
A lot of people are against tolerating behaviors that they don't agree with but if you look at the definition then it is clear that tolerance never means acceptance or agreeing. It just means that you're allowing others to believe what they want, do what they want, and you're minding your own behavior instead of the behaviors, beliefs and actions of others.
In our society if something is not illegal or dangerous it is important to learn that there are differing views on many topics. Especially with religion or politics. What one person finds moral, the other finds repugnant, and this is O.K. in a free society. In fact, it is imperative to have this freedom in order to call ourselves a free society.
So the second thing to remember is that as long as something is not illegal or dangerous it is better to show tolerance than to show harsh judgment, especially if the person doing the action or behavior is the other parent. Your children are part of their other parent and both of you have a right and a responsibility and thankfully the freedom to teach your children what you believe. No one, not even the other parent should be allowed to prevent that.
The last thing you should know is that you teach children by your example. Children do not learn by the old “Do as I say, not as I do” way of thinking. They learn by watching everything you do, and everything you say. If what you say and do mesh they are more likely to follow your lead. Having said that, remember that it is important that you hold yourself to at least as high a standard as you do others and do not be a hypocrite. Practice what you preach, and let others do what they will. Your children are watching.
