Many dating services will ask you how much schooling you’ve completed. I suppose this is in case someone with a PhD doesn’t want to date a High School graduate. I don’t feel this has much to do with being intellectually compatible, however. Compatibility and snobbery are two different things.
The larger question is, what kind of intellect are you looking for? Certainly there are many different types of smarts. Do you want someone to be a great conversationalist? Should they possess a broad, liberal arts knowledge? Or perhaps you’d rather they owned a narrow, more specific intellect that matches your own interests? Do highly educated people scare you? Are you uncomfortable with someone who can’t keep up with your mental expressiveness? All these questions are something to consider.
How does one assess the intellect of a potential date? Not as simple as appearance, but surely doable. The easiest method, if you’ve met in person, is to ask questions. Intelligent people tend to give intuitive answers and usually their answers aren’t one word or a single short sentence in length. Look for someone that converses on the same level as you might. Be careful not to mistake shyness or preoccupation for lack of intellect, however. Often a person’s responses are geared to the question asked so take that into consideration if you’re attempting to gain insight into someone’s mental capabilities.
If you’re browsing profiles on the internet, intellectual people usually go into depth about themselves and their profiles make for an interesting read. Look for interests that match your own and see if they expound on them with a degree of fascination. Also, if you’re setting up an online profile, think of it as a resume that you can create to attract that special type of someone you’re looking to catch. Remember, people reading your profile might be looking for intellectual compatibility also.
The sharing of thoughts and ideas is important in a relationship, whether they concern intimate feelings or general life topics. The need for someone to share our life with is primal. If two people can’t communicate with each other, the relationship probably won’t last long without someone feeling hurt and uncared about. This is true for all people, not just lesbians and gays.
What kind of questions should you ask? Look around you. What’s going on? Is there something or someone that looks interesting? Ask someone about it. Don’t use a question that can be answered with a yes or a no. Try for depth. Ask something out of your own interest. Ask a question you might like to answer yourself. Yeah, they might think you’re strange. But they just might be attracted to your interest as well. You’ll be noticed quicker if you come off as interested rather than interesting. And you’ll know more about that individual than if you just guessed that they might be your type.
So next time you’re out and about, consider asking an intelligent question to that someone you just accidentally met.
| Recent Gay Lesbian Discussions |
| How About Intellectual Compatibility? - Marcia Ellen - Gay/Lesbian Host (19) |
| Do Looks Matter? - Marcia Ellen - Gay/Lesbian Host (37) |
| Does Religion Affect Your Relationships? - Marcia Ellen - Gay/Lesbian Host (7) |
©2004 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
