Your tank top in church is a poor choice. Actually that tank top, with your un-supported breasts sagging beneath the fabric and nippling so badly people outside of the congregation and across the street can see them, does not look great on you even in the most casual of places. So please don't wear it again.
That is what I wanted to say to the 30-something woman who attended my uncle's funeral. That's right, it wasn't just a church service. It was a funeral this tank top sporting, gum chewing, disrespecting woman was attending.
And just what was the reasoning for wearing a tank top to a funeral at a Catholic church in December anyway? It's winter already. Can't you find a nice sweater to wear with your too-tight skirt and open-toed shoes. Yes, open-toed shoes in December...in rainy Seattle...I KNOW.
There are days when we all wish someone's momma had given a little advice to their darling daughter. Is it too much to ask that a mom tell her little girl there are certain items of clothing one just can't pull off? When we see the butt-cracks and the cellulite on the thighs and the cracked, calloused heels with the sandals, don't you feel for the poor woman who has not been loved enough to be told, "Sweetie, you can't wear that and you really shouldn't put that on and there's this thing called a pumice stone..."
So what do we do when visually confronted with appalling too-tight attire or lack of clothing that fails to cover certain areas? Do we say something? Do we offer them a coat to cover up the appalling scenery? How do we politely let a person know that people aren't staring at you because you look great but because you look really, really bad?
Sadly we can't tell a perfect stranger that she is dressed all wrong. Unless you know them well, I mean really, really well, it's wrong to even make a suggestion. We know you want to help and we've all heard of tough love. But when you give unsolicited advice, it rarely goes over well.
Proper attire is important. More so, though, is flattering attire. If you are in need of a bra - one with support and lift, then don't wear a tank top unless you have a bra on under it and a blazer over it. And unless this is a really casual event and it's really hot out, don't plan to take the blazer off. If that's too much for you to commit to then wear something else.
If you are with someone who needs a bra or a larger size, one thing you can do is to point out proper attire. Look for someone who is similar in build who is wearing clothes that flatter. If clothing is too suggestive for a certain event, it's an even better opportunity to point out an outfit or someone who looks really, really nice.
In this world where we are surrounded by fashion magazines and television with perfectly dressed, coiffed people, it can be overwhelming. Some might even decide that they don't care anymore. It's would be easy to throw up your hands and just let it be. Not caring, however, is much different than being disrespectful. If you don't want to dress to impress, be sure to at least chose attire that does not offend those around you.