While occasional yelling is common in families, parents who constantly yell at their children are subjecting their children to emotional abuse that researchers say can be as harmful as physical abuse. Check out some resources and tips for putting a halt on yelling and having a better relationship with your daughter. This is part two of “Stop Yelling It Doesn’t Help It Hurts”
Act Raising Safe Kids Program
It is normal for adult to get angry; but it is important to learn to recognize angry feelings and to learn and practice positive ways of dealing with them.
Parent Tools Program
“Most parents have a tendency to react to the situation when something goes wrong, some parents have even learned to act in place of reacting”. FREE resources for parents looking for answers on how to change frustration into satisfaction!
Some damaging things that are said to children from parents:
• Threats – “If you do that again I’ll leave you…”
• Horrible – “If it wasn’t for the children we could have had a new car..” or “I can’t stand you for another minute…”
• Comparing – “”Why can’t you be neat like your sister”
• Labeling- “You are …messy, untidy, lazy, naughty, stupid, a nuisance, a sissy, a bully, clumsy, fat, a little pig, shy, hopeless….”
• Blaming- “You make me sick, tired, cross…”. “You give me … a headache, a pain…”
• Undermining- “I’ll do it, you’re to slow…”. “I love you but I don’t like you”.
• Discouraging- “Why do you always get it wrong?”
Parents you know that yelling can be damaging to your daughter. It can escalate to name calling, mental abuse, and low self-esteem. Also, in the end they tend to tune you out over time. All the more reason to stop the yelling!
Keep in mind that some parents come from parents that yelled. This is not to say that it’s okay to yell it will just take a little longer to adjust to not yelling. Also, your daughter has no doughtily figured out how to push the right buttons to make you yell. This is a separate issue for attention.
Make good attempts to stop, access the situation and step away for a moment. Come back after calming and you’ll see that the conversation as well as moods will be better. At first, it may take a while to calm down before reacting but over time and practice you’ll move from trigger to a positive reaction in no time.
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