I was having lunch with a friend a few days ago, when the subject of ‘’marital status’’ came up during our conversation. She had recently moved in with her long-term boyfriend and they were at the stage where getting married was an option. My dining companion casually asked me if I were in a relationship to which I eagerly replied, ‘’I’m still single.’’ She gave me a puzzled look and continued to eat. After a few moments of silence she looked at me again and said ‘’Do you enjoy being single?” I must admit that I was taken aback by the question and had to take a moment to think about my answer.
For some of us being single can mean having an array of positive options to choose from – we can choose to take advantage of the freedom that comes with living alone – such as living a life uniquely our own. We take responsibility for the choices we make, and find ways of self-motivation when confronting a challenge. But, being single, and living alone is something that everyone experiences differently. It all depends on how you view the concept of living alone and being without a partner. Moreover, if becoming single is accompanied by feelings of empowerment and being in control rather than anxiety and fear, the experience will carry heightened significance either positively or negatively in how you view your situation. Where do you fit in this measure of single life?
Did you recently become single? Or, have you been single a bit longer than usual? Are you eager to get back into the dating scene? Or, are you looking to make a new start by embracing solitude? How you answer these questions will dictate how you experience being alone. The issues we hold onto from our previous relationships, such as, happy or unhappy memories, did betrayal play a role in the breakup? Are your dreams on the path to fulfillment? Or, do you feel as though your dreams are fading away?
How Do You View Being Single?
Different cultures may have different ways of viewing the concept of being single. Also, the individuals of every culture may not adhere to the standard view and may have feelings based entirely on his or her unique way of viewing the world. The bottom line is that we, as individuals, are the ones who set the standards in our lives. We get to decide whether being single is about isolation or endless possibilities. Be honest, and ask yourself what you need to do in order to make you happy either as a single person, or a person within a relationship – you can be part of a couple and still enjoy a sense of freedom.
Do You Enjoy Being Single?
The problem I have with this question is that it feels a bit restrictive; I am more than just a single person. Yes, I enjoy being single in that I enjoy my life, and being single is a part of that. Embracing solitude in a healthy manner does not mean resigning oneself to being alone forever. Nor does it mean ignoring any negative feelings that may occur, however, understanding that your outlook on what ever your situation may be can be the difference between feeling that being single is just your lot in life, and creating a life filled with possibilities.