Why are some people able to go with the flow, work through problems, and keep on with their lives, even when bad things happen to them? How do they go on, continuing with their daily lives, while others crumple by the wayside at the smallest hint of adversity? The answer is resilience, that ability to persist in efforts and to believe that life will get better.
When a person has Attention Deficit Disorder, they have plenty of opportunities to experience adversity first-hand. While many of the characteristics of ADD can become positive aspects of a person's life, others just add complexity, and not in a good way. The negative traits of ADD are a reality for many people.
Impulsivity, inattention, and disorganization can impact a child's life in school, as well as an adult's image in the workplace. Kids with ADD are often in trouble in class. Teachers have difficulty understanding that kids with ADD are not trying to ignore the work when they don't pay attention. It is a painful reality that disorganization plays a huge role in children not turning work into the teacher in a timely manner. In the elementary years, these problems with producing and turning work in can lead to recess being taken away from kids with Attention Deficit Disorder. This sets them apart from their peers. Impulsivity can lead to creating mischief and disruptions in the classroom. These problems can cause the student to be removed from the class, which adds to the process of the student learning less than his peers. Again, this affects the way that he is perceived by peers, school staff, and himself. Why do some students with Attention Deficit Disorder recover from this painful process, while others are permanently held back? The foundation for their recovery is resilience.
Part of resilience might be natural. Some people are born with a sunny disposition that just lets them see the bright side of situations. They are able to regulate their emotions. However, the basis of resilience can be fostered by a family's acceptance of their members, even when those people have difficulties. A person who knows deep within his spirit that his family loves and cares for him, his good points and his problems, is more able to be rooted in optimism than despair.
Another part of resilience is the ability to see mistakes as learning tools. Mistakes are not shameful events. They aren't something that a person beats himself up over because he made a grievous error. Self-talk, that little voice in each of our heads, needs to remain positive. There is no need to scold ourselves when we make a blunder. Mistakes are life's lessons to help us remember how to make choices that work for us. A mistake is not a failure; it is a chance to learn and do better next time.
Both children and adults, especially those people with Attention Deficit Disorder, need to build resilience, because it is as sure as day and night that incidents will occur that can test a person's attitudes toward life. The person who feels secure within his family, doesn't fall into the trap of self-loathing, and can visualize life's slip-ups as learning tools is more likely to be able to persevere. They don't give up and can make the march to success by putting one foot in front of the other and continuing along life's path. These people persist, because they have resilience.
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