In this third and final part of my interview with Tosca Reno, we learn that all changes begin with permission to change. But we are not talking about getting that permission from others. The permission must come from your toughest challenger – yourself.
Why is it so difficult to give ourselves permission to change?
TR: “I definitely think that this is something that is ingrained in the female psyche. There’s an attitude that I’m going to care for everyone else and put myself last on the list after kids, spouses or partners, family, even friends and coworkers. I came from that very mindset. In Your Best Body Now, I try to flip that myth around and show women how to care for themselves. In my case, I had to learn to put myself on the ‘Honey-do list’ and not feel guilty.”
“When you take good care of yourself, I mean eating clean and physical training, not crazy training but training a little bit on a regular basis and moving your body around, you learn the importance of being a priority in your life.”
“You become best version of you, which then gives you confidence and strength to be your best and face every day. You show up and can be the best mother, partner, or, mother in law. You can be your best at work or at whatever you do. This is done by shaking things up in life and giving ourselves permission to change.”
I asked Reno what happens when others, especially those closest to you, become your biggest critics. These people are scared or angry about your changes and will bombard you with negativity when you need it the least.
TR: “I think part of any good plan is to develop notion there are people who will want to shoot you down. Usually those saboteurs, often our loved ones, those are people who want you to be successful but not more than they are in life. Sometimes if you become positive in attitude or make positive changes this holds up a mirror to those others. It makes them look at themselves and they do not like what they see. They are reminded of the changes they need to make but lack the drive to do so. Therefore it is easier to shoot others down than to make changes for themselves.”
“I never let that scare me. I know that this is going to happen. I plan for it! I redouble my convictions. I make changes based on my needs because I cannot live someone else’s life. I am living my life and had a lot of years ahead of me. I hope to keep my standard high and raise the bar to spread the word of hope to other women to prevent our 50s, 60s or 70s from looking like a death sentence in a rocking chair.”
Two fabulous quotes jumped out in Your Best Body Now and Reno shares her wisdom about these messages for us.
I had been a human doing, not a human being.
TR: “I love that expression because until I read I don’t think I realized I was a human robot and was not connected emotionally to the things I was doing. I began to give myself permission to show up in my life every day with no apologies. Once I found ways to make the connections in my life with what I was doing, I began to know who I was and worked at being the person I was always meant to be.”
I wandered through life before. Now I charge through it.
“Knowing that you’re allowed to be happy and energetic is powerful. We do not just have to succumb to whatever happens in life and say that I am supposed to be fat or tired. To me those are death sentences and that is not what life is about. The human body is made to move, to shine, to bend, to make love, to jump, to run, and to do all these things as long as we have the health and will to do so."
"The mind has to show up in equation too because we need that inner drive to push forward. I never, ever will wander through life again! I just can’t wait for everyday to see what it will bring me; it’s just an amazing revolution to me.”
No matter what your life may be at this moment, and things may be very difficult, there are still areas where you can learn to take back some of the control. Reno knows the challenges women face and she never trivializes that change takes real work. But through her example, we can learn that we can accomplish much more than we think we can. We just need to take that first step and that first step is giving yourself permission to change.
A very special thank you to Tosca Reno for taking time out of her busy schedule for our recent telephone interview.
Please visit www.ToscaReno.com for more!