When I was in high school, the girls would get together and daydream about our future mates. We’d laugh over each other’s lists of traits we hoped to find in our men. A few girls were very detailed right down to the eye color, vocation, and family background. When it came to my turn, I drew a blank. I hadn’t really thought about particulars. From the time I was a small girl, I knew there was a little boy growing up to be my mate, but I didn’t know much else about him. Did he have to be tall? I’m rather short. Blue eyes? Eye color didn’t seem very important. Brown eyes, hazel eyes, green eyes are all nice, too. I didn’t care if he were a doctor or an architect as long as he loved his job. Should he love to cook, clean and bring me coffee in the morning? I wanted a husband, not a butler.

“You’re not very picky,” a friend said to me. But before I could take it as a compliment, she added: “You should be. It’s the most important decision of your life.” I hadn’t thought of it that way. My pickier friends did postpone marriage. A few got divorced. One did marry her dream husband, I heard, but I can’t tell if she’s happier for it. All I know is that while I may not have set down prerequisites for my husband, he had traits that instinctively told me he was the perfect mate:

1. He believes that I am the most wonderful woman in the entire world and treats me that way. With great adoration and care.
2. He has stuck with me through the worst times of our lives.
3. He would die to protect me and our children.
4. He puts us above all others.
5. He lets me be human, mistakes and all, and accepts me as is.
6. He holds my hand as we venture through each new phase of life with a sense of curiosity and wonder.
7. He loves to make me laugh.

With those amazing characteristics, who cares that he doesn’t pick up his socks or is obsessed with golf and football? A man like this is a treasure. I spend a lot of my time thinking up ways to hang onto him, too. So I ask myself, “Am I the perfect mate for him?” It gives me great joy to do whatever it takes to bring him happiness.

That is what love is, I think. When people marry, they demand that their lovers prove it. Will he pull out my chair? Bring me gifts? Do the laundry for me? Help with the kids? But what about proving your love for him? Think back to when you fell in love. You didn’t take him for granted.

I can’t do enough for this incredible man of mine because he is such a precious gift. Women call me stupid because I am all too happy to see to his comfort, encourage him to enjoy his hobbies like golf, ensure his daily happiness. I’m a college-educated woman with two advanced degrees. I am not a stupid woman. But I am a woman in love. Twenty six years later, I’m still enjoying finding ways to delight him. Why not? After all, he’s the perfect mate. And I’ll keep trying to prove to him that I am the perfect mate for him.