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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

When You Feel Frustrated, Go With the Flow

Are you making your life impossible? When you hit a wall and people and projects don’t work out the way you planned, you tend to apply more force. Frustrated, you take it up a notch, pushing even harder for success. However, forcing an issue does not usually get results. Getting caught up in the frenzy of seeking to control, you thrash around as though caught in a riptide dangerously being pulled under. Ironically, all you have to do is to easily swim sideways, a few feet away to safety and freedom. When relationships or work are not going your way, try to flow with the current…

Flow means creating balance in body, mind and spirit. We need to stabilize ourselves. Sometimes we have to let the current carry us, to yield to that which we cannot control and put our trust in others, or the universe. We can break up our life into moments and be satisfied with the moment. If that moment is frustrating, the next moment can be better. Sometimes we have to do nothing, but wait and collect our energies. We have to give up our preconceived neat plans, take a detour or feel our way around intuitively.

When we flow, we become one with what we are doing, and we are graceful: Like a golf swing that emanates from the golfer without his mind breaking up the swing into a series of prescribed movements. When we don’t flow such as when we first learn to dance, we might sacrifice rhythm and style for technique. We concentrate so hard on getting it right, that our movements are forced and we forget to have fun.

Many of us experience frustration trying to control life partners, elderly parents and children - perhaps all at the same time. Although we mean well, “We know what’s good for them,” we have to respect the will and flow of others. Like love, we cannot compel, but instead, set it free like a bird and hope that it flies back to us. Carl Jung aptly said, “The shoe that fits us so well, pinches the foot of another.”

Instead of feeling depleted and frustrated, learn how to flow. Here are some suggestions:
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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