Just when you begin to relax as a parent, you realize that there is no resting point. Last week my almost 15 year old decided to take the dog for a walk. This is nothing new in our home, except she failed to come home in a timely manner. Thankfully, my 10 year old said she had been gone a long time and I agreed. I hopped on the cell phone, called her cell phone, and found out she was at our neighborhood park. I know our park is isolated enough she would not go there alone…
So, whom was she visiting? I asked her whom she was with at the park, and she hemmed and hawed around enough that I knew there was someone there. I told her to come home. I bluffed. I also told her I knew she was with a boy and that her stepfather had seen him when he checked on her as he left the house just a few minutes before.
She tried to tell me it was a boy from the neighborhood. Someone she did not know…in essence a stranger. I knew she would not stay at the park and talk to someone she did not know, not even a boy from her school, another red flag popped up telling me that a lie was in progress. Whether it was mother’s intuition…or ESP, who knows and who really cares, as I am able to know that something is not right with my children.
I asked her when she got home whom she was with and she maintained the same story, that it was just a boy from the neighborhood. I let her believe that she was off the hook for a while, because I also know from being a teenager, it is difficult to lie to your parents and not feel guilty or sick to your stomach.
I later told her I know you lied and please do not do it again. I told her she has a sound to her voice and a look on her face that gives away her lies. I understand that at almost 15 our children wish to spread their wings and try to fly a little and I have done well with trying not to be over protective. I love my daughter’s friends and have yet to meet one that I did not like. I do prefer to have her bring her friends to our home, as I prefer to know that there is adult supervision.
I suppose soon it will be time to tell her about the time her mom was 17 and raped by someone I knew and worked with on a volunteer ambulance company. I dread the day she needs to know this information, but if it helps my teenager stay safe, than it will be well worth it in the end.
My intention of telling her is not to make her sad for her mom, but to understand that we may trust people we should not. To help her to listen to that little voice inside her when it screams there is danger nearby. I wish I had listened to mine. I wish someone had taught me that those closest to us are often the ones that will hurt us the most. I wish…