My husband and I spent this past weekend recovering from hosting my extremely intelligent and inquisitive 10 year old cousin for a week. The experience of having a kid in my house for six days straight (a first for us, mind you), made me analyze my child free lifestyle even more than usual.
Lots has been written about how the child free are “selfish,” which has sparked debate on both sides of the parenting question. What does selfish mean, really? Is knowing what you want out of life selfish? How about being smart enough to know what IS and IS NOT right for you? If being selfish means choosing to put your personal dreams ahead of society’s need to have you procreate, then yes, I guess maybe we are.
But are we spoiled?
Heck, yeah! And we’re lovin’ it!
Having the extra time and energy to spoil the man I love makes the best marriage I can think of! We can devote all of our time to each other, instead of splitting our attention among three kids and their after school activities.
I love making breakfast in bed for my husband. Last year he was particularly stressed at work, so I planned a surprise weekend getaway for him. I rub his back several nights a week. I make his favorite meals. I am truly interested in his hobbies (which we can indulge in because we don’t have kids to spend our hard earned cash on!).
And I am just as spoiled as he is. Every year I get a Tiramisu Torte – from scratch! – for my birthday, and my husband isn’t even a pastry chef! I get regular foot massages. Last night I asked for a squeeze of fresh lime juice in my water, and he happily obliged.
We love doing special things for each other that I don’t usually see parents doing, simply because their schedules get filled up with other things.
But if we want to go to bed a little early for some “couple time,” we do it. If we want to take a long bath together on a Sunday afternoon, we can. We can be spontaneous without calling a babysitter.
Marriage isn’t about each partner giving 50%. I’d say it’s close to 100%.
And it sure is easier to do when you don’t have kids.