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BellaOnline's Marriage Editor

The Art of Snuggling

When my husband wraps his arms around me and I snuggle into his chest, I feel safe and at peace as though nothing can go wrong. He knows that in my arms, he can find acceptance, respect and refuge. And there we sit, tucked into a cocoon of our own making. Our eyes close, our breathing syncs. Snuggling. Weíve got it down to an art.

Snuggling can be elevated to an art form when you do it right. Often, people donít recognize the power of proper snuggling. It isnít a make out or groping session. It isnít having to endure endless whining or complaining or venting. Snuggling is the act of holding each other in a mutually comforting manner of which the act itself is the goal. There is no other objective when you snuggle.

Snuggling provides many benefits to your marital relationship: Itís comforting to both. Itís bonding. Even healing and healthy. Itís very hard to snuggle and not feel good, and studies show that feeling good releases even more feel-good hormones for your brain and body. Itís also very hard to snuggle and not feel good about the person youíre snuggling with. Somehow, petty conflicts dissolve. Resentments melt away.

ďJust hold me.Ē
Once when my husband and I couldnít settle an argument, he said, ďJust hold meĒ as he opened his arms. At first, my anger made me keep my distance until, realizing I was spent and frustrated and had nowhere else to go, I collapsed in his arms. We sat there silently together and as he stroked my hair, I felt like a kitten being pet and all the negativity got brushed away. Soon, we both forgot why the argument had been so important in the first place. We both were more than willing to concede to keep the peace. All we knew was that it felt entirely wonderful to snuggle together and nothing mattered more than the love we have for each other.

Snuggling guidelines
There are no rules to snuggling, of course, but to make the best of your snuggling session, it might be wise to adhere to a few guidelines:

1. Simply embrace each other in a manner that is comfortable and comforting. Caressing is encouraged but no massaging or groping. Be gentle.
2. Donít use snuggling as a segue to sex. Itís really not a form of foreplay. Sexual arousal isnít the natural result of snuggling.
3. Silence is best, even for a few moments.
4. No serious subjects. Definitely nothing contentious or critical.
5. A blanket can make it better but itís optional.

This isnít to say that you canít hold each other when you need to vent, cry or complain. But that is a different type of connection entirely. Snuggling, on the other hand, should be pure and pleasurable.

Whenever one of us says, ďLetís snuggleĒ or ďI need to snuggleĒ we both grin, go fetch a blanket and meet up on the sofa or bed like eager puppies. Snuggling has saved our marriage more than once or twice or ten dozen times. I highly suggest you and your mate being practicing to refine your snuggling skills. Soon, you might discover that your favorite place in the world is in his arms and youíll never want to leave.

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