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A Practical Property Exorcism

As I entered the old structure I checked the copy of the document outlining the location of the items I was after, trying to ignore the scent of decay that I was inhaling with every breath. The heavy atmosphere muffled any outside noise giving an almost underwater quality to the hallway I was in, and the bluish quality of the light coming from the rooms off of it added to this impression. Instinctively I adapted to the environment, making as little noise as possible as I moved towards the stairs.

A sudden creak behind me made me spin round, but I realised I had caused it myself by stepping off a loose floorboard. I paused and concentrated on each of my senses in turn. The thick grime in the hall and on the stairs revealed a few footprints, but they lacked the crispness of fresh ones. Squatting slightly I could see the wear on the stairs revealing a history of use, but it was clear no one had climbed them in some time as the last footprints were mere dents in the smooth coating of dust. There was a faint scent of flowers in the air, although the near-jungle I had navigated to get here had been more thorns and undergrowth than anything with a bloom.

The floor itself was unstable and I could feel it giving slightly under each step and releasing mould spores and the smell of damp. The lack of any signal made my Mobile (Cell Phone) no use in calling for help if anything happened so, mindful of the state of the floor, I kept to the side of the hallway and listened for any tell-tale creaks as I headed towards the stairs.

I adopted the same precautions as I climbed the stairs, ready to move quickly if anything gave way. At the top I checked the location of the items I had come for, then headed for the room they were supposed to be in. From the doorway I could see them on an altar-like table in front of a window covered in red drapery. Careful scrutiny of the room before I entered revealed another table in the corner with a portrait on it leaning against the wall, a chair at an odd angle near the middle of the room, some moulding from the ceiling which was now on the floor, and a picture hanging on the wall.

There was also the sense of a presence with a hint of menace. Very faint, but because of my heightened awareness, perceptible none the less. I carefully reached under my shirt and lifted out my symbol of protection in case I should need it, then began to cross the room. My nerves prickling with every step. On the third one the sense of presence became much stronger then, in quick succession, the portrait slid flat onto the table with a bang and the picture dropped to the floor with a loud thud. My reaction was to infuse my protective symbol with personal power, imagining it lighting up like headlight beam projecting into the Etheric and Astral Planes. I turned in a swift clockwise circle to send it into every part of the room as I spoke the appropriate words of power.

“Good afternoon. I’m from the safety service and I’m here to pick up our equipment. You are dead and don’t need it any more it needs to be collected, cleaned, and loaned out to help someone else”

I let my ID card fall back onto my chest and hoped that the magickal energy I had channelled through it hadn’t scrambled the magnetic tape on the back or the information on the chip embedded in it. The sense of menace had diminished and I had a feeling that the entity was, indeed, the semi-corporeal remains of the houses former occupant. My guess was that after dying some time before they were still trying to stay in their home as they were confused as to what had happened to them. The mildly threatening aura around the house had put off my colleagues from even venturing inside, and because I was known as “The Pagan guy” I’d been asked to do the job, which I was happy to. If only to see how well a modern approach to exorcism would work should it be needed.

“Sorry to have to break it to you like that” I continued as I walked across the room. “But you don’t need this house anymore. Not on Earth anyway.”

I took a bag from my pocket and began to pack the now un-needed equipment away.

“Sadly it doesn’t say on your paperwork if you follow any particular religion or spiritual path” I continued “If you do may I suggest you call on your connection to the Divine, be it a Deity or angel or similar and ask them to show you the way to the afterlife? Or you could pop down to the local church, temple, or other place of worship as I understand they have portals there and beings who are happy to help.”

I finished putting the equipment in my bag and tested the atmosphere again. It felt as though the entity was still there but wasn’t sure what to do, or even if it believed me. Then I realised if it was confused then it was probably suggestible, which opened up another course of action. Quickly I moved over to the nearest wall, pressed the tip of my index finger against the skirting (baseboard) and using the same intent and energy as for casting a circle drew the outline of an open doorway. Placing my palm in the centre of the outlined area I concentrated on it becoming a portal to the Otherworld, which I envisioned as an upmarket country club because that is what most people who believe in an afterlife seem to think it is. I then stepped back and pointed commandingly at the door and view beyond.

“As you look at that spot on the wall you can see the doorway into the Afterlife” I said firmly “you can be pleasantly surprised by what you see, you might even see loved ones who have gone there before you, both human and animal. Now as you look at the doorway you can travel through it, walking, floating or in a way that is special to you. Goodbye and happy trails, you earned it”

I made a gesture that was part wave and part push, and suddenly the empty room was just an empty room with no hint of anything or anyone in it other than me. I clapped my hands loudly to disperse the cast doorway, then a few more times to scatter any lingering energies from the environment, or entity, that might combine to form a different type of haunting.

As I cautiously made my way back towards the front door I wondered what other ways I could have achieved the same result. A classic exorcism would have probably confused the ex-person even more and only temporarily frightened them off only to return, or set up home somewhere else. The latter could have unfortunate consequences such as vampirism where the Etheric body of the deceased could ‘feed’ off of the Etheric energies of living people to keep itself “alive”. Every other system, even showing them a current newspaper, could well have had the same result. But by explaining the situation, and providing a portal it seemed the former occupant had left with little or no problem.

It reminded me of the time I ‘exorcised’ a nature Elemental with a kettle cord and a drain, which I will tell you about in the next article.

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