Those sophisticated celebrities who use their fame to encourage the democratic process rather than cheaply attempting to influence voters by shooting vitriolic arrows at specific candidates must be appreciated. It’s classy. And since at times America seems not so classy, it’s nice. Additionally, for those celebrities who choose publicly to endorse a candidate without showing your asses to America, you are also classy.

Brigitte Bardot, not classy. Oh, Ms. Bardot, it is lovely you found time to leave the animals you now prefer to people in addition to breaking from your busy schedule of inciting racial hatred and provoking discrimination against Muslims to pontificate to the press as to Sarah Palin. Brigitte, hon, it is you who are a “disgrace to women.” I do not understand anything about you. What happened? Other aging stars are still flaming. What’s your deal? It is painful enough that the evisceration of Sarah Palin has become the highlight of this historic American election season. Must we be forced to endure the added pain of hateful foreign celebrity opinions, especially those of a five time convicted racist? Keep it in France kitten! America has enough hate of her own! Go pet your dogs, stay out of American politics and concentrate on solving your bigotry. Try loving people as much as animals for a change. And do come out more often, you’re a tish pale.

Oh Madonna, so not classy. However, we will continue to endure the material girl’s antics as we have for years. God love her - she went to England and keeps coming back. In a move that personally broke this eighties girl’s heart, she appears to have reverted to the raunchy hateful loudmouthed entertainer my parents could not stand when I was in high school. Did you see the video of her screaming onstage “Sarah Palin better get off my street or I’m going to kick her ass?” Madge continues her creepy rant, ridicules “first dude” and subsequently bans the Republican veep from attending any of the shows on her tour. Nice. Such behavior was cool in ’85 Madge, now it’s just creepy. I have to tell you, it’s creepy. There are meds that will help. Get some. I am sure the material mother of three has her own worries about her young children getting their innocent mitts on THAT book and with aging and with all for which she continues to find herself press “worthy.” Ass kicking is just too much though. And inciting your audience?? What about John McCain’s ass? Hey, Madonna, do you want to kick John McCain’s ass? You probably could with those legs. I was completely unaware that you had taken up the “ass kicking” business. Why don’t you just keep to kicking your brother’s ass for writing that tell-all and let us know when you’re headed back to England. You can kick ass over there. Stop by France, kick Bardot’s ass for being a racist and an idiot and then get home and figure out what you’re going to tell your kids when one of their classmates gives them a copy of THAT book. You know the one. Meow.

Tina Fey, classy. Tina Fey is brilliantly funny. Republican or Democrat – if you saw Fey’s impersonation of Palin and you didn’t laugh, something is wrong with you. That mean girl is funny in the way the ass crack of the unpopular girl shows over the top of her itty bitty jeans in high school English class. Funny the way the seventh grade girl who wets the bed gets invited to slumber parties as part of the entertainment. Funny the way state fair freak show “freaks” are funny. Funny the way my cousin’s terribly scarred hand was funny to the girls who didn’t like her, because she was beautiful. The sight of that scar devastated her parents daily – a constant reminder of the two minutes their backs were turned when she was small and houses still had floor furnaces. Tina Fey impersonates Sarah Palin with wicked wit. There’s even talk of the “Tina Fey effect” on this election. And Chevy Chase has been quoted as saying he wants Fey to “decimate” the governor. Not classy! Parody is sinister amusement by its very nature, it always gets hurtful. It is personal. It cuts people where they bleed. Tina Fey, enough already with your impersonation of Sarah Palin as a weekly event - Americans are sufficiently desensitized and bleeding profusely. No need to go “Lord of the Flies” on us. You’re classy enough to take a breather.

Better ask Madonna first though or she might come and kick your ass.