• No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

• When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

• If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

• Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

• You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

• Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

• Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

• Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

• School lunches stick to the wall.

• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

• Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

• The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."

This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"

"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"

~~ Author Unknown ~~

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