We just love "Firefly," and the dialogue is just one of the reasons. Here are some of our favorite quotes from the series. Please note that the episodes are presented in the order they aired, not the order that is considered to be canon.
From "The Train Job":
Inara: What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive.
Inara: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, "Donít."
Mal: Well, youíre holding my mechanic in thrall. And Kaylee! What the hell is goiní on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
Commander Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.
Harken: Is there any particular reason you donít wish to discuss your marriage?
Zoe: Donít see that itís any of your business, itís all. Weíre very private people.
(Cut to interrogation of Wash)
Wash: The legs! Oh yeah, definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down. Her legs, and right where her legs...meet her back. That, actually that whole area. That, and...and above it.
From "Our Mrs. Reynolds":
Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume Iím an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No oneís saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, weíre pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.
Book: What are you up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Book: I, um, what?
River: Bibleís broken. Contradictions, false logistics...doesnít make sense.
Book: No, no. You - you canít...
River: So weíll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with Godís creation of Even. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven 11 times, but always comes out one. Noahís ark is a problem.
River: Weíll have to call it ďearly quantum state phenomenon.Ē Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
From "Out of Gas":
Mal: Which one you figure tracked us?
Zoe: The ugly one, sir.
Mal: Could you be more specific?
Marco: Do we look reasonable to you?
Mal: Well, looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty...deceiver.
Mal: Well said. Wasnít that well said, Zoe?
Zoe: Had a kind oí poetry to it, sir.
Sir Warrick: You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward.
Inara: Itís humiliation.
Mal: It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (He stabs Atherton, not too hard). Guess Iím just a good man. (He stabs again). Well, Iím all right.
Book: Thatís...thatís quite a lot of blood, isnít it?
Mal: Just means you ainít dead.
Book: ĎFraid I might be needing a preacher.
Mal: Thatís good. You just lie there and be ironical.
Zoe: Capíníll come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well, thatís good, right?
Zoe: Possible youíre not recalling some of his previous plans.
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception weíre apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Capín?
Mal: Absolutely. Whatís "sanguine" mean?
Zoe: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest: it also means "bloody."
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options.
Zoe: Can we find someplace with a beach?
Wash: Maybe a naked beach? (They kiss.)
Mal: Cut it out. Jobís not done Ďtil weíre back on Serenity.
Zoe: Sorry, sir, didnít mean to enjoy the moment.
From "War Stories":
Wash: Hey, Iíve been in a firefight before. Well, I was in a fire. (Pause). Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.
Wash: I mean, Iím the one she swore to love, honor and obey.
Mal: Listen...She swore to obey?
Wash: Well, no, not...but thatís just my point! You she obeys. She obeys you! Thereís obeying going on right under my nose!
From "Objects in Space":
Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. Whatíll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. Itís a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. Itís always a hoot, and we donít all die from it.
Wash (playing with dinosaurs on his console, pretending to be a stegosaurus): Yes...yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...This Land.
Wash (as allosaurus): I think we should call it...your grave!
Wash (as stegosaurus): Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Wash (as allosaurus): Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!
Wash (as stegosaurus): Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven.
From "Heart of Gold":
Kaylee: Everybodyís got somebody...Wash, tell me Iím pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: ĎCause Iím pretty?
Wash: ĎCause youíre pretty.
Kaylee: Thank you. That was very restorative.
Inara: Right. Youíre a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: We made a perfectly good piece--
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: They were dolls.
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
From "The Message":
Zoe: Scared her away again, did you?
Simon: This may come as a shock, but Iím actually not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
From "Serenity," the movie:
Wash: Yeah well, if she doesnít give us some extra flow from the engine to offset the burn-through, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define interesting.
Wash: Oh god oh god weíre all gonna die?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a...little problem with our engine sequences, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then...explode.
Mal: Doctor, Iím taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly. There could be tears.
Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: Way I remember it, albatross was a shipís good luck, Ďtil some idiot killed it. (To Inara) Yes, Iíve read a poem, try not to faint.