Developing a healthy body image or positive self-image is a life-long process - especially when you challenge yourself to have no fear naked! For me, undressing in the change room at the pool is getting easier, as is being naked in front of my new husband (well, I guess after a year of marriage, we’re no longer “new”!). In the past, I was much more embarrassed to change and be naked in front of other people than I am now, and I’ve figured out five things that have increased my level of self-acceptance.

1. I stripped down at a nude beach. On our honeymoon in St. Maarten, we got nude on the beach and played in the waves – and it was a blast! There were fat people, short people, attractive people, unattractive people, skinny people…and not a single perfect person in sight. There were at least 50 nude people on this beach, and I was dumbfounded at how natural they were. Their various body parts bounced, jiggled, swayed, and rippled (and not in a good way); and they didn’t care. Self-acceptance – nay, self-love – regardless of appearance was the overriding theme of that beach, and I’ve since then thought it should be the theme of our lives. If you don’t have a nude beach in your area, go to the indoor or outdoor pool and count the number of perfectly shaped people you see. I’ll eat my bikini if you need more than one hand to count them! We are not supposed to be perfect – so stop trying.

2. I started being honest with my husband. I told him how uncomfortable and insecure I feel naked, and asked him to help me by sharing what he likes about my body. He does, and we’ve learned that the more he compliments me about my body, the more uninhibited I am in the bedroom! If your partner is critical about your body, consider telling him how it makes you feel: sad, insecure, afraid, hurt, angry. If you’re critical about your own body, consider how destructive you’re being to yourself. Would you say those things to your best friend, or even your worst enemy? I bet not. It’s time to go easy on yourself because if you don’t, who will? If you can’t get honest with your partner (or if you’re between them at the moment), then make a pact with your best friend to sincerely and regularly compliment each other on your positive characteristics. And then go to the pool.

3. I’m getting better at seeing myself through loving, kind eyes. I have lots of those little “skin tags” things on my neck, and my butt is definitely much rounder and bigger than I’d like, and my legs have varicose veins, and sometimes my mouth and brain don’t cooperate. But, more important than my perceived flaws (some people like a full bottom!) are the strengths in my appearance: I like my eyes, hair, and smile. I’m learning to be kind and gentle to myself, and that includes accepting and honoring my body as a whole – not criticizing the parts I wish were different. It’s all about a balanced perspective. Same with you: your body is a small part of who you are - and so is your sense of humor, intellect, and talents. Look at your body with kind, compassionate eyes: it’s brought you through years of toils and snares, and it’s still carrying you through this journey!

4. I took Pilates. This exercise is about developing your mind-body connection as you strengthen your core. I’m learning to stand taller, breathe deeper, and appreciate my body as it is – and all of that positively affects how I feel naked. Try a new fitness class; you may be surprised at how good it is for your self-image. Be patient: I’ve taken Pilates for nine months now and still occasionally feel fat and uncoordinated in class, especially when beautiful, fit women join. Ah well, what can you do? Keep going, that’s what – and love the skin you’re in!

5. I read books. I find that reading inspirational books helps me in my quest for balance and freedom. I’ve just started reading Feeling Good About the Way You Look by Sabine Wilhelm, and plan to do a book review on it in a week or two (come back and look for it!). I’m halfway through It’s Not About Food: End Your Obsession With Food and Weight by Carol Emery Normandi and Laurelee Roark – and I love it because it stresses that eating disorders can start as attempts to take care of yourself. Not the most healthy coping strategy, but one nonetheless. Self-discovery and self-care are the themes of this book; read it if you struggle with food and eating - because it really isn't about food. It's about you.

Having no fear naked can be learned – or relearned, I should say. Children are amazingly unselfconscious when it comes to nudity...it’s hard to believe I was ever that free naked, but I know I was. It’s time to tap into our childlike selves and become the naked, fearless princess warriors we were meant to be!