Let me begin by saying it is not my intent to malign the parents among us for their decision to have kids. Married No Kids is not about trashing families Ė it is about giving a voice to those of us who have chosen a different path, to let the child free among us in cyberspace know that we arenít alone, and that there are others out there who donít want children either!
Having said that, let me explain my very personal reasons why I have decided not to have kids. There are many reasons out there, and yours may or may not be on my list. Whatever your reasons, please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your choice to remain child free.
So here it goes (in no particular order)Ö
1. I hate messes. Kids are messy. I recently saw a picture of my nephew covered in peanut butter and I nearly had a panic attack! I have always hated being sticky, which is why you will never, ever see me eat an orange in the car. It makes me crazy when my husbandís placemat is covered in crumbs. And yet I would not call myself a ďneat freakĒ by any means. I just hate spills. And peanut butter on my hands.
2. I hate noise. I really do. On a given Saturday afternoon, you will probably hear soft jazz coming out of my stereo as I work on my cross stitch or read a magazine. Our cats like things this way too. When we have guests, the noise of other people just about sends them into orbit.
3. I am way too paranoid to have children. I worry too much about those who are close to me. I insist on telling my loved ones to be careful whenever they leave the house, even if it is to go down the street for gas. To know that my child could be walking to the bus stop in the dark, talking to a stranger, coming down with the flu, or any other horrible thing that can happen to a kid, would definitely send me over the edge.
4. We work too much. Working in a museum is NOT a 9 to 5 job, with lots of weekend obligations. Most events require us both to attend, and we live in another state from would-be grandparents. So what would we do with a kid?
5. We donít make enough money. Kids cost a lot, and we have chosen careers that are a step above taking a vow of poverty. We know we would never have money for the day to day expenses of a child, let alone saving for college! With 16 years to go on my student loans, I would end up paying for two college educations at once Ė mine and my childís!
6. We love to travel, and NOT to kid friendly places. With the little extra money we do have, we always save it for an annual vacation. We eat in nice restaurants. We stay at nice hotels. Working long hours means vacations are coveted. No matter what, we NEVER give up our travel plans.
7. I donít enjoy spending time with kids. Especially babies. They make me nervous. It sounds ridiculous to parents, but it is the honest truth. I donít know how to react when someone pushes a baby into my face. I would much rather play with their cat.
8. The idea of being pregnant repulses me. I had a 12 pound tumor growing on a flap of membrane on my uterus when I was 23 years old, so I pretty much know what it feels like to be pregnant, minus the kicking. I have an 8 inch scar on my tummy from where they removed it. The idea of something else living inside me again is so unbelievably icky to me. And donít even get me started on child birth!
9. I love to cook. I love having the time to cook, and the freedom to try wacky things that Iím pretty sure a kid wouldnít eat. There is no way I would spend my evenings making two separate dinners.
10. My life is full just the way it is! I love everything about my life, even though often I have too many irons in the fire and feel like I canít get it all done. I am 100% content with my life.
The people who flame me always say I will regret my decision one day. I wonder how they know that when they have never met me. I wonder how they have the audacity to think their choices in life are the ONLY choices in life.
In short, if parenting is for you, great! Everywhere you turn, your choice is reaffirmed in our society. For most of the child free, we are harassed, pressured, and ridiculed on a daily basis.
I know my path isnít the one most people take. And Iím not out to convert anyone.
I just want respect. Nothing more, nothing less.
Except maybe assurance that my peanut butter will always stay in the jarÖ