I wanted to put together a list of the mean things people say to us; things that have stuck with us over the years. My intent is not to feed the negative energy these statements produce but provide a means for acknowledging them. I'm sure many people don't even realize the things they are saying are hurtful. I'm also equally sure there a great many who do and nothing we say or do will change it.
What good is a list like this? It'd be nice if it encouraged people to rethink their comments. For those who want some kind of closure they can print it off, crumple it up and throw it in their fireplace (or find some other way to burn it) as a symbolic act of letting them go. We just have to be careful not to do it all at the same time as it may affect the planet's ozone. There are a lot of people carrying around some bad phrases in the back of their minds. It's a sad thing and totally unnecessary.
Where did this list come from? I enlisted the help of my newsletter subscribers. They didn't let me down and as you can see, many had more than one incident stuck in their minds. Some from childhood and some as an adult. All are equally important.
From Maureen (ON, Canada)
"Can you even see your feet?"
From Laura (CT, USA)
"I'd kill myself if I had an ass that big."
"My mom only invited you to my birthday party because she wanted to see the big splash you make in the pool."
"You're short and fat. How do expect someone to be attracted to you?"
"You've got a pretty face, but you're fat. Maybe weight watchers would help."
From Debra (VA, USA)
"I will buy you 1,000 dollars worth of pretty clothes when you lose all the weight you need to."
"It is obvious you are sweating bullets because you are so fat."
From Belle (NY, USA)
"You look like a beached whale."
"We'll need an over-sized coffin for you."
"What can we do to stop her?" Family members whispered loudly.
"You should drink weight-loss teas." From a shoe salesman when I was buying sneakers and inquiring as to the most shock absorption.
"That lady is fat," said a child to his mom when we were sharing a cab. Mom's response: "Not now."
From Dawn (AZ, USA)
"When I needed to lose a few pounds, I found that portion control helped me more than anything." But I already weigh (or otherwise measure) everything I eat as part of my diet plan!
From Latisha (OH, USA)
“You’re a pretty girl, but honey, you’re going to have to lose some weight. Boys don’t like fat girls.”
“I pinched her butt to make her feel good.”
“Hey girl, look at my big ol’ pretty cousin.”
“No way your fat a*& is a model.”
From Ron (CA, USA)
"Gee you'd feel better if you only lost some of that fat."
"You have such a pretty face."
"You have deconditioned yourself...get up and exercise."
"If you'd only lose 10% of your weight you would feel better and be so much healthier." I lost 20% and don't feel any better.
From Sara (MI, USA)
"My maiden name was H(*&^% - kids in elementary school called me 'hippo' because I was heavy and nobody could pronounce my name correctly."
From Joy (AL, USA)
"That outfit would look cute on me."
From Mary (SC, USA)
"If you would just stop buying THIS kind of stuff, you would not have the weight problem that you do!" A total stranger said, while reaching in my shopping cart to pull out the package of cookies that I was buying for my husband and two-year-old son.
From Melissa (NB, Canada)
"Does she have an appetite? She looks like she has an appetite!" My mother took me in for a sore throat. I was maybe 8 or 9 and remember it to this day.
"Don't worry, Deb, it's just puppy fat," the doctor said to my mother. She had never asked anything about it. I was there for a sprained ankle.
From Cheryl (MI, USA)
"You have such a pretty face...."
"All you need is willpower!"
From Essa (MW, USA)
"You're lucky you have a pretty face going for you because you sure don't have anything else."
From Bri (ON, Canada)
Me: "I need a snack"
Friend's mom: "Pfft, it sure as hell doesn't LOOK like you need a snack!"
"If you jumped in a river, you'd drown the whole world"
"You need to stop sitting on your lazy ass, and start exercising"
From Trish (OH, USA)
"Save the whales - harpoon "Mark's" mom instead" I overheard this being said about me, by my son's middle school classmates.
From Christine (OH, USA)
"Here to lose weight or do I need to put in bigger doors?" Doctor, 1977.
From Maggie (KY, USA)
"Girl! How much more weight are you going to gain?"
From Sandra (TX, USA)
"If I had wanted to dance with a fat girl, I would have asked you"
"Moooooo," from a group of teenagers at the lake.
From Heather (AB, Canada)
"How could you LET yourself get like THAT?"
From Katy (CO, USA)
"Should you eat that?"
"The one with the mousy hair is OK, but the fat one needs to go away."
"You would be so pretty if you lost some weight."
"You must be the laziest person I ever met."
"I don't want to have anything to do with you until you look like a normal human."
"Well, sex with her is fun, she's not ugly like you."
"If you want to be happy for the rest of you life, never make a pretty woman your wife."
"Your Mother is fat."
From Pam (CO, USA)
"If you lose weight, I'll marry you"
From Selma (NH, USA)
"If only she wasn't heavy (or fat), she'de be so pretty."
Want to share the mean thing people have said to you? Visit this thread in the Large & Lovely Forum specifically for this topic.