Mother's Day is coming up, a day that most families normally set aside to acknowledge the special role of the mother. What many people often forget is that women who have miscarried are mothers too. Mothers who have miscarried often experience Mother's Day as a stark reminder of loss -- especially when people forget about the children these mothers have lost.
Kimberly de Montbrun, owner and designer of La Belle Dame Jewelry, is someone who will never forget. De Montbrun, who experienced a miscarriage herself nine years ago, produces a line of memorial jewelry and other items that acknowledge loss. This year, she decided to add sympathy cards to honor mothers who have lost children.
"Mothers want to be acknowledged on Mothers Day, even when they do not have their babies alive and with them," she says. "A simple card, a gift of jewelry or flowers can make a significant difference on a day that she may otherwise feel bereft and alone in her grief."
De Montbrun also points out that even mothers with living children may experience sadness on Mother's Day. She herself had a 20-month-old son and was pregnant again on the first Mother's Day following her loss.
"I was still deeply missing the baby that I had lost, and the day was incredibly painful," she recalls.
De Montbrun advises that friends and relatives of women with losses should ask the women how they feel about the day in advance. "A grieving mother may be anticipating the day with feelings of fear and dread of the powerful grief that could be stirred up by such a symbolic day," she says, pointing out that talking about it ahead of time might help calm anxiety.
For women who have experienced losses themselves, de Montbrun advises that you should not be afraid to let your family and friends know that you need support. They may want to support you but not know how, and by letting them know what you need, you are empowering them to help you.
"If you cannot face a mother's day brunch with your family, that is OK. Let them know that it is just simply too painful. If you would like to plant a rose bush or start a memory garden with your spouse, let him know," de Montbrun says.
De Montbrun's cards can be viewed at the La Belle Dame Jewelry website.
It's amazing how far a few simple, kind words of caring can go. This Mother's Day, here's hoping that the word will get out and fewer women will feel alone.

