I was having lunch with an old friend the other day and our conversation drifted into having-a-baby territory as my husband and I are trying for #2 right now. She was quick to say that after four years of marriage they just weren’t ready yet and she wasn’t entirely sure that she would ever be ready. She continued to say that circumstances were going to have to be perfect before they added to their family and I wondered, to myself “Is there a perfect time to have a baby?”

Unplanned children are born every day and that certainly does not mean that they are unwanted or unloved, but what about those children that were planned. What factors did their parents feel were important in deciding that it was time to have a baby?

For most couples, the decision to have a child is a huge one and often a great deal of thought goes into it. I know it did for my husband and I when we started trying for the first time. I talked to some other couples and the majority of them said the same things.

Relationships

The current status of their relationship is one of the first things that many couples think of. When you’ve met the right partner, spent some time getting to know one another and forming a strong bond—having a baby sometimes seems like the natural progression that the relationship should take. In other cases there are some couples that believe having a baby will “fix” a relationship. This is usually a mistake, as a strong relationship is imperative to being good parents. Getting pregnant to keep your partner from leaving you can result in years of resentment, or worse, you will most likely end up being a single parent. Both partners must be on board and ready to take on the responsibilities of taking the relationship to the next level— a level otherwise known as “Parenthood.”

Money

Money can’t buy you happiness, but babies cost plenty of it. They need diapers, formula, clothes, doctor’s visits, health insurance, cribs, bouncy seats, swing sets, toys out the ying-yang and SO much more. Actually, it’s pretty amazing all the stuff that someone so little must have and how much it all costs. It’s easy to say, “We can’t afford a baby.” This statement is probably true, too. Unless you are a Trump or a Hilton, then you probably can’t afford a baby, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have one. You will never have ENOUGH money to have a baby. However, millions of families make their finances stretch to meet the needs of a growing family. It is possible and definitely worth it. It may cost a lot of money, but the rewards are truly priceless.

Living Conditions

Living conditions is another factor that really should be taken into consideration when planning a family. If you live in a studio apartment in a “no children” building, then having a baby is obviously going to require a move. You wouldn’t know it to look at them, but babies—as little as they are—have the potential to take up a lot of room. Actually it’s all the stuff that we talked about earlier that really takes up all the room, but babies still need their space. Even if your living space is a little cramped, some good storage and a little organization can work wonders in making room for baby.

Career

In this day in age, many women are professionals. Blending parenthood and careers is no small task and should be considered when thinking about a baby. There are many companies out there that offer incredible benefits to parents including up to three months of maternity leave, shifting hours to accommodate childcare needs (some workplaces actually have childcare facilities on the premises), personal time pools to facilitate sick kids and doctors appointments, as well as a host of other benefits. You should look into whether or not the company you work for provides any of these. If your business does not, neither your partner nor you are interested in taking any time off (the bottom line is that you will have to take some time off to give birth) and would both of you would rather concentrate on furthering your careers, this might not be the best time to plan a baby. Please remember though, that there are millions of working parents out there and it can be done.

So, it seems that no matter what lifestyle you are living, how much money you have, where you live, or where you work…it’s never the PERFECT time to have a baby. A reason not to have a baby can always be found. If everyone waited for perfect timing to have a baby, then nobody would have one.

The truth that I have found, in my own experiences, and talking to those closest to me, is that while it is never a good time to have a baby—they are almost always totally worth it.

Don't wait for the perfect time. If it is time to have a baby, then you will know.