If you are going through a divorce right now, you probably are feeling pretty low about your life. You may even feel that everything is hopeless because it is not as it was before the divorce. You may feel disconnected with the rest of society because you are single. You may feel overwhelmed because you are a single parent. Money may be tight; you may have even had to sell your house and furniture. Maybe if you’re feeling really down it is time to take stock of your life.

Assess the situation

What in your life is good right now? Are your kids healthy? Are you healthy? I know it might sound trite but having your health and having healthy kids is a real privilege and it is so much more important than all the other minutia that goes on from day to day.


People, not things

As a military brat growing up, my parents taught me that people are what matter not things and certainly not the dwelling. That saying, “Home is where the heart is” or the other one that the military uses, “Home is where you hang your hat” are very, very true.

The important question is; do you still have a roof over your head, although not the one you imagined?

Some divorced people have to sell everything they own at auction. Since I enjoy going to auctions I have witnessed, and participated in this very thing.

It is hard to let things go. It’s hard to move on to something foreign and different. Different does not mean it is wrong or bad. A two-bedroom apartment compared to a three-bedroom house in the suburbs is a change, sure enough, but is it the end of the world? Many families live in apartments; they grow, thrive, and prosper. It is not the roof that is important; it is what is under the roof. If there are happy beating hearts under the roof, who cares about the rest?

Families are diverse

There are all kinds of families out there. Families sometimes have one mommy, two mommies, and no mommies. They are still families. Families come in all shapes and sizes and none is better than the other. None is ideal, no matter what the fairy tells say. Teach your children that they have many families. Your legal family, your step family, your extended family, your church family, even some people consider the people at their work place to be family. The more people we can love and include in our “we” the better off we are.

Health is worth everything

If you are relatively healthy then that is a true blessing to be thankful for. If your children are healthy, thank your lucky stars. Even if you have some minor sickness but everyone is relatively OK right now, be thankful for that. Be thankful for each breath you and your children take. Breath in, Breath out, take it all in. Life!

As you consider your life, count your blessings, stretch your “we”, breath, and be thankful for your blessings, no matter how small.