Several months ago, I wrote of the joys of owning a pet. This week, I had to face one of the drawbacks of pet ownership as well.

My sixteen year old cat, Gaia, who had been ailing for some time, took an abrupt turn for the worse as her kidneys suddenly failed. She was no longer able to hop up on the bed where she loved to nap in the afternoon sun. She lost interest in food and water. She nuzzled her head against my hand when I stroked her face, but she didn’t purr. Her eyes began to take on that set, miserable look that every pet owner knows and dreads.

I had Gaia put to sleep (i.e., euthanized) on Wednesday morning. My vet came over to the house. We laid her out on "her" bed, and I cradled her one last time as he gently gave her the shot. She died in my arms.

I'm grieving her loss, and I'm grieving it hard. But although the ending was sad (as endings almost always are), I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. For sixteen years, Gaia added her unique feline charm to my life and faithfully gave me the gifts of her love and trust. There is no way I would change even a moment of our time together.

Gaia is not the first pet I've lost, and I'm sure she won't be the last. Over the years, I've picked up some helpful hints for grieving a pet that has died, and I want to share them with you here.

Talk about your pet. Tell others about your loss. Undoubtedly, some people won't get it. They may even try to tell you your companion was "just" a cat or dog. But most people will be understanding and sympathetic. It's important to accept their support and allow them to help you through your grief.

Whatever you do, don't grieve alone--shutting others out of your sadness puts you on the fast track to major depression.

If you don't have a lot of people in your life you feel comfortable talking to, you might want to consider joining a pet loss support group. There are also some excellent sources of support online.

Keep a journal. Sometimes it helps to write down all your thoughts and feelings, especially the ones you don't feel comfortable sharing with others.

Memorialize your pet. No, you don't have to spend thousands of dollars on an elaborate funeral, but make sure you do something to honor your pet's passing. Light a candle. Invite a few friends over for a burial. Donate money to an animal rescue agency in your pet's name.

Expect to grieve for awhile. Don't put a time limit on your mourning. Depending on the roll your pet played in your life, you may find yourself grieving your pet for several weeks, months, or even years. Eventually, though, the hurt will subside, and you'll be able to think about your pet with love instead of pain.

Pets grieve, too. If you have other animals in your household, they will notice the absence of the pet who has died. Try to give all your other pets a little extra time and attention. If you have more than one surviving pet, expect a few snarls and snaps as they reestablish a household hierarchy. Unless one pet seems in danger of being hurt, try to let them work it out on their own.

Getting another pet? Some people can't imagine having another animal as long as they live. Others want to replace the animal who died immediately. Either way, it's not a decision that should be rushed. Allow yourself some time to grieve before you make a final choice. If you do decide to get another pet, don't look for a replica of the pet who died (e.g., same color, markings, breed, etc.) Instead, select an entirely new friend with whom to build a new relationship.

Losing a pet is a very painful experience. There may even be times when you feel like you're going crazy. But please remember that grief is a very normal response to loss. At first it's okay if you cry a lot, have strange dreams, don't feel much like eating, need more sleep, don't enjoy your normal activities, etc. It's also okay if you "sense" the dead animals' presence around you. You may even find yourself talking to your dead friend. That's okay, too.

As you take steps to heal from grief, most of these symptoms will fade away. If several weeks have gone by with no improvement or if you feel like you are "stuck" in the grieving process, talk to a counselor. Ask your vet to recommend someone who understands the impact of pet loss.

No matter how bad you feel right now, remember that you will survive this loss and that someday--maybe soon--memories of your precious pet will bring laughter instead of tears.