My son Kelly Arthur Hubenthal was adopted when he was 9 days old, his family and friends loved him, he was my parent’s first grandchild, and he filled a huge void in my heart. We were never told about Kelly’s biological parents, we weren’t told of the drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness and suicide attempts by his biological mother. That was the first nail in my son’s coffin.
At a few months of age, Kelly was diagnosed with severe, chronic, asthma. He was raised in emergency rooms and hospital beds. He was given huge amounts of addictive drugs to calm the breath robbing asthma attacks as well as steroids and adrenalin that often made him difficult to reason with and combative. Kelly became addicted to the feeling those drugs gave him. That was the second nail in Kelly’s coffin.
Kelly seemed different than other kids. When he was age 7, I began taking him for counseling and testing for his learning disabilities. He also had emotional and behavior problems, but never bad enough, according to the experts, to receive any special help at school. He was a skinny, snotty nosed, misunderstood little boy who wasn’t liked by many people. Around the age of 11, he was exhibiting some destructive behavior. His Psychologist recommended we put him in Foster Care. I wouldn’t even think of it. He was my child!
Around the age of 14 or 15 I began to suspect Kelly was using drugs. One night his friends brought him home from a football game, unconscious, and laid him on the garage floor and ran away. Frantic, we took him to the hospital E.R., only to find out he terribly drunk. As he was waking up, he began a verbal attack and flailing about. I knew at that moment I had to take drastic action before he killed himself. I had to trick Kelly into a treatment facility by telling him it was for family counseling. This began his parade in and out of rehab centers. We had tried everything! I desperately wanted to “fix” this. Kelly had tutors; special learning centers, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and the list goes on.
When Kelly was 18, his Dad committed suicide. His Dad was his idol and his hero. The aftermath of his death sent Kelly on an even steeper spiral downward. He didn’t finish High School, he just wanted to sleep and party.