A few weeks ago the phone rang at 1:00 in the morning.
“This is your Baby Wake Up Call!” my sister said.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t even startled when the phone rang, despite the fact that I was in a dead sleep and her due date wasn’t for another week. She was on her way to the hospital and would keep me posted.
My mom called at 5:45 AM and said, “The baby will be here any minute! I’ll call you.”
I waited another hour and a half, and finally I called. Nothing.
Ten minutes later my mom called. “Your sister had the baby!” she said. “But Kim, it’s a BOY!”
“A BOY?!?” I screamed. We had been told it was going to be a GIRL! We had a girl shower, bought all kinds of cute little girlie outfits, and had been calling her Brianna since the ultrasound. While we were at the shower, my husband had painted the room PINK!
But suddenly little Brianna Michele was Dylan Thomas. And we had some shopping to do.
What has happened since his birth has been fascinating. People who know darn well that I don’t want any kids of my own can’t seem to grasp the fact that I can be excited about a new nephew, and yet, not change my mind.
To be honest, the physical trauma my poor sister has endured is enough to change my mind the other way, if I had been a fence sitter! We are extremely close, so I have been able to ask her all the questions I wouldn’t have asked my friends. And she has been brutally honest about what the entire process has felt like.
She actually popped some of her episiotomy stitches the first night she was home and wound up with an infection! They couldn’t re-stitch them because they didn’t want to push the infection inside. With that news, I felt woozy and had to sit down, crossing my legs tight.
I have been every bit the proud aunt, showing pictures to everyone in the office. Dylan is just adorable, and I am not just saying that as his aunt. This kid really is cute!
The morning he was born, I was telling a guy I work with all about it. To my surprise, he said, “In a few months, you’re going to be running around gushing that you’re pregnant!” He knows all about my choice, but he felt the need to say that anyway.
This was my first encounter with such a thought. It took me back for a moment. Why on earth would my sister having a baby make any difference in my own life choices? I have been around lots of people who have had children, and never have I wavered in my decision.
Apparently too many people think solely in black or white. Either you like kids and you want them, or you hate them and you don’t. I guess I live in a world of gray, where I am excited for my sister but want nothing to do with motherhood. To me it is perfectly logical.
I admit, I was worried about what might happen to our relationship after the baby came. Sure, she has been really busy, and really tired, but she is still my sister. She has not transformed into a whole different person just because she is now a mom.
Like my closest friends with children, she has never made me feel like I am excluded from the club. She respects my decision not to have kids as much as I respect her decision to have kids.
Since we live far away, we haven’t met our new nephew yet. But a road trip is coming up soon. I am surprised by how excited I actually am about this new baby, but rest assured, you will not be seeing a new Editor for Married No Kids anytime soon.
I am child free and loving it!!!