Lists of actions
Does your scene read like a bulleted list of actions?
- He woke
- He showered
- He dressed
- He made and ate breakfast
- He went to work
Listed action can be broken up with dialogue or even with more description or exposition, especially if it tells something about the character.
He put on the blue shirt, the last gift his wife had given him before she died.
Now the scene of the character dressing has a point – to inform the reader that the character is a widower who is probably still mourning.
Purpose of action
As with the example above, actions should always either advance the plot, provide characterisation information, or replace or enhance dialogue tags.
With the breakfast example given in the forum, such an ordinary day-to-day scene can probably be cut entirely. The writer can test the purpose of the scene, and decide whether any characterisation pointers can be shifted to a more important scene.
Characterisation
There are instances where a scene such as the breakfast example could be used for characterisation purposes.
An extreme example would be to show how a character with only one arm has adapted to be able to make breakfast for himself independently. Such a scene could highlight his determination and resilience, and perhaps his positivity and sense of humour.
Or perhaps the scene comes at the end of a book, showing how an anorexic character has recovered to the point of making a full breakfast, although not managing to eat all of it. Or the breakfast, or breakfast ritual, could be unusual, indicating an eccentric character or an obsessive-compulsive streak.
Action and dialogue tags
One area where describing mundane actions is very useful is as a counterpoint to dialogue. Dialogue can easily become a “talking heads” scene without any action to anchor it.
In the example, the character could make a phone call or have someone drop by while the simple actions of making breakfast could break the speech up and even replace some of the dialogue tags.
“I thought you were going to handle him.” Mike’s hands trembled slightly as he put the bread in the toaster. “You told me he was dead.”
Used properly, describing the actions and behaviour of your characters can be a useful tool to break up elements that could otherwise overshadow your scenes. Or it could flatten your writing and have your readers skipping huge chunks of your story. It’s up to you to edit your description so that it works for your story rather than against it.
For more help with crafting your skills of description, try Description - Elements of Fiction Writing by Monica Wood
