I read what you wrote, today. You have endured so much! Watching all of that chaos is very hard. I know that I would have trouble doing that. I have a friend who was in a serious accident about 15 years ago. She was left basically
brain dysfunctional. She survived for almost 9 more months, and then finally was blessed with a release from the shell she was in. I couldnít even go visit her. It was very painful. Her family would not let her go.
When my Dadís time came, blessedly, my sisters were able to give the release to let him go. In fact, they had to push the issue. They wanted nothing for him; everything was to be turned off. The nurses left the oxygen on, and my
oldest sister threw a fit. She said let the man go! All that
does is prolong things. It was so difficult for them. I couldnít go down, and it was a year anniversary on Shannon when it all took place. It was hard on all of us. I am so glad that there are some nurses who understand and can assist the families. Terry I am sorry you were faced with that difficult
situation. You are truly a strong person and one to be admired for your ability to make that decision. It is never easy to let anyone go. Yesterday was a critical day for me. All the stress in my life came to a head, and I fell apart big time. I just crumpled up at home and was finally able to let some of the pressure off, but I know it will happen again. I am so glad that we all have each other to share with. It helps so much to be able to do that when we need to.
Take care and thanks for being there.
Love and hugs,
I printed out your beautiful letter to Alicia Rose. I couldnít finish reading it right now; itís much too difficult to read through tears. I am so sorry that you have had to suffer this nightmare of losing a child. As Paul said about his son, ďHeís not lost, I am!Ē He has managed to put into words what we all feel. I know Alicia Rose would not want you to ask her forgiveness, you are her momma, she loves you and always will. One day you will be together again.
The lessons we have to learn, here on earth, donít make any sense to us and they are far more painful than anyone knows. You did everything out of love for your daughter, you did nothing wrong. Our children donít come with an
instruction manual; everything we did was by instinct and love.
My heart aches for you, tonight, Terry. I wish we werenít so far away from one another. Thank goodness for this site, otherwise we would be even more alone. We are here, for you, whenever you feel like venting or want someone to listen. You are truly our sister. Remember you are loved!
Take care dear one,
Itís Terry, Alicia Roseís mother. Iíve been reading posts but havenít posted in a while. But, I truly have to tell you all this. Tonight I was speaking to my husband on the phone and I told him how tired I felt today and his response was, ďWell it probably was the two hour conversation you had last night!Ē Not knowing what he was talking about, I questioned him. He told me that last night while he was on the computer and I was asleep on the living room couch, he heard me and another person talking. At first he thought it was the TV, but it was turned off. He went back into the kitchen and the dog started to snarl and again he heard two voices Ö mine and Aliciaís! He finished up on the computer and went upstairs to bed, leaving me on the couch. He again heard two voices. Aliciaís and mine. He came back downstairs and the dog was snarling again! The weird thing is, I donít remember a thing! I pray each and every night that if it were the Lordís will that He allow Alicia to come to me to chat, but only if it is His will.
I donít know how many times sheís been here, but I want to remember chatting with her. I cannot believe that my husband, who looks like Hulk Hogan or Goldberg, take your pick, even admitted to hearing Aliciaís voice. He said
that he was positive both times that he heard her that it was indeed she! I just had to get that off my chest, Iím just a bit upset that I canít remember her being here. I truly wish I could remember her and that we could talk and laugh like we used to.
Does anyone on the list have anything as bizarre as this that has happened to them? I sure hope so; it will make me feel a little better.
Your friend forever and forever, Alicia Rose Hultinís mother, as well as the mother of Jennifer, Randi and Dana,
Oh yes, some of us have had some really wonderful visits. It happens and itís wonderful! Take care, dear one, Alicia Rose is with you, she loves you and wants to bring you peace.
Part Five next week.