During the middle years of our lives, it is a great time to reclaim the life we knew before family and career. Taking an assessment of where we are at and what we want in the second half of our life is a good thing. We see things differently than before. Our likes and interests begin to change; things that were once important may not hold their value anymore.

All this happens about the time perimenopause begins. Our lives are beginning to take a different direction now that our children are becoming self-sufficient and moving into adulthood. We begin to experience long awaited ‘me’ time. A feeling of liberation takes hold and life as an individual becomes more enjoyable.

For us mothers, it takes time to overcome not feeling guilty for things we have no reason to feel guilty about. We have been deeply engrained to put ourselves second; taking smaller portions for ourselves or buying our child their favorite toy and forego purchasing something we want or need. We’ve learned that putting our children or spouse’s needs first means we care. The thought of being selfish is more than we can bear.

We love and enjoy our families but simply welcome the opportunity to rediscover ourselves at this point in time. After becoming a mother every decision we make requires us to take the whole family into consideration. Our decisions are not truly our own decisions like before motherhood. So getting a taste of becoming an individual again is a great feeling.

After years of putting others first, we discover how great it is to have time for ourselves, although it may be challenging to change things. Family or friends may react negatively for not doing things like before; this is especially so if it’s to their disadvantage. This is when we need to remain committed to ourselves about what we want and need during our middle years to become the best we can be.

I like to think of the mid-life years as a time to do spring cleaning in our lives; it is a good time to de-clutter our lives. Imagine living in the same house for forty or fifty years and not removing any of the clutter. It would drive anyone mad.

It’s refreshing to simplify our lives. Now is the time to make assessments of the people and things in our lives and decide if they are worth the time and effort they require. The middle years are also about putting ourselves at the top of our own list.