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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

Do Women Intimidate Men?

Women have been referred to as the weaker sex, but are they really? In many cases women are physically weaker than men when it comes to brute force. And at work women are still pushing hard to be recognized and given equal pay for equal work. However, behind every man stands the little woman ready to push him off an emotional cliff, an Eve who can get him evicted from Eden, a Delilah ready to cut his hair while he sleeps, or a sorceress ready to turn a prince into a frog. Women sometimes forget that they possess a primal, almost supernatural power. And like any power, it can be used for the good or the bad.

A woman’s disapproval means a man’s shame. This pattern has been set during childhood when all a little boy wants is his mother’s approval. When a mother says “Good boy,” he internalizes, “I love you. You are terrific.” As a grown man, he wants to hear the woman in his life say: “You are a good man,” and “You rock my world.” However, because a woman feels her stress more intensely than a man, worries about everything and loses some of her true identity along the way of becoming a wife and mother, she is likely to lash out at HIM: A woman expects a man to be a mind reader because she fundamentally believes that she married a clone. After all, a clone should know what one is thinking, and what one wants even when she doesn’t even know what she wants. Now when he doesn’t successfully read her mind or even understand her overt hints, she feels frustrated and disappointed. He sits there holding his head in his hands wondering how to make sense of it all. Keep in mind that a man has fewer facial expressions than a woman and when he is listening to a woman, here are the facial cues to be observed: a blank stare, a frown or a squint. These three cues mean that a man is on high alert and trying really hard to understand what a woman is saying. When a woman says, “Everything is fine,” a man gets confused. Clearly everything is not fine because the bedroom door is slammed shut. Then there are those metaphors which make a man tremble with fear because all he hears is a foreign language. Here are some examples:There is a lot of noise in a woman’s world: Multi-tasking, worrying, caregiving and technological distractions. As a result a woman feels depleted and under-accomplished never quite finishing her to-do list. Frustration inevitably boils over to him, her mirror, and all this anger aimed at him is really a woman’s anger about her life or her insecurities. However, he does not know this psychological truism.

Keep in mind that a word said is never dead and that it doesn’t take much to make him feel small and unloved; he becomes easy quarry for another woman who will praise him, like you once did! To ask for help and clearly communicate what you need without making him feel bad try this smarter, more persuasive strategy.There is a huge difference between genuine power and manipulative coercion. Take back your power!
For more information on stress/free relationships read my book, Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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