Before my own daughter died I was always so saddened to read or hear of a childís death in the news. So often the reported deaths were unexplained; it might have been an abduction, a sudden unexplained illness or an accident. I could never have imagined losing a child let alone not knowing how. In lots of read about cases an autopsy is needed to determine the cause of death.
In recent weeks, a local story about a child who went missing from her home has been a topic of many news stories. In this very sad story, the child was found, however she was not alive. Her town spent a week searching for her and I watched the story unfold with a heavy heart. An autopsy was conducted and results are still pending.
This family is in a living hell waiting to know how this happened to their child. Although our stories arenít the same, the outcomes are; we both have lost a child and we donít know what happened. And we both know the agony of waiting for answers. Through their pain I find myself reliving my own. Never in my life did I ever think Iíd be able to relate to such a thing. Never did I think Iíd know the sadness they feel.
An autopsy is often requested when someone dies of unknown causes or suspicious activities. In our case, the doctor recommended an investigation and we quickly agreed as we were desperate to know how an 8 year old dies suddenly of severe heart failure. We didnít know it would take 9 weeks for the results. Waiting for just about anything makes you feel on edge, whether itís the nervous excitement type or the worrisome anxious type of waiting. Under the most unbelievable shocking circumstances, waiting for these results is excruciating.
Saddened to the core, you wait and wonder what happened and donít know which way to move next, literally. It is a constant state of limbo. Being in shock actually softens the waiting time, but as that ever so slowly starts to wane, the waiting becomes more intense. The frustration grows and the anger grows on top of all the feelings of grief swirling around you. What could possibly be taking so long? How come they havenít called us? Why donít we know what happened? What are they looking for? Do they know something and arenít telling us? Should we call them? Wait, you tell yourself over and over. Just wait. The results will come.
From the bottom of my heart, my thoughts are with the families who have lost their child and know not how it happened. Be patient. Be strong. The results will come and a new set of emotions will take over where the waiting left off.
A website has been established in our daughter's name. Please visit for more information about our mission.