The very sad passing of Elizabeth Edwards has caused many divorced people to ask themselves the following questions: Do I want to seek closure with my ex-spouse before my or his/her death? Do I want to attend the funeral of my ex-spouse or do I want him/her to attend mine?
The answers to these questions are very personal and of course depend on the individuals involved. Hopefully, at some point during a divorce, the two parties are able to put aside their differences and end their marriage and move on in a respectful manner. This is not always easy.
If there is an affair or abuse or one person does not want the divorce, the amicable divorce is mostly likely impossible. If you are a victim of abuse, it is probably not healthy to have any further contact with an abusive ex-spouse. Of course you should always rely on professional assistance to help you find the correct answer for you.
If abuse if not involved and hurt feelings or anger are prevalent, then more likely than not, there are bitter feelings on one or both sides.Perhaps time will heal these wounds and you will be able to speak with your ex-spouse in a respectful manner.
Some people however continue to nurse bitter and vengeful feelings for years. They would never consider speaking with his/her ex-spouse, even if one of them were on his/her death bed. However some people when they are dying want to seek closure and release this bitterness.
If you are ill or your ex-spouse is ill and you want to seek closure, please be prepared that your ex-spouse may not. You will have to respect his/her feelings and come to accept this. If however there is the opportunity to seek closure and understanding, it appears that letting go of anger and vengeful feelings is comforting and good for emotional well-being.
If children are involved, it may be even more important to consider meeting with your ex-spouse and trying to heal old wounds before your ex-spouse's or your passing.
It is my hope that this is something you will not have to face in the near future and that you are enjoying a happy and healthy holiday season.