When a person says that you are charismatic, what they are really saying is: I see who you really are-- and I think your soul is beautiful. Charisma to me is when I see a person who lives from the inside out as opposed to the outside in. They do not let others define the boundaries of their dreams or let society tell them what they should physically look like, or think like. When I look act actors like Faizon Love, Rosanne Barr, or Kevin Hart; I wonder if people discouraged them from going to into the entertainment business because they do not look like classic movie stars.
People who are charismatic have the ability to demand that others look beyond their physical bodies and peer into the essence of their being. Their ability to authentically communicate their values, morals, and beliefs is what separates them from the average person who is struggling to edit their thoughts and fit into the expectations of others. President Barack Obama was able to win a presidential election in the United States of America where his ancestors were enslaved for over 300 years and its Constitution declared any one of African descent to be only two thirds human. He forced people to look beyond his hair texture, facial features, and skin color and become America’s first African American president.
If you would like to be more charismatic, for thirty days try the following exercises:
1. When talking to others try to keep the conversation topics focused on them. Ask questions about their goals, dreams, and loved ones.
2. Give others direct eye contact when communicating with them. Make them feel as if they are the most important person in the world.
3. Don’t complain about anything or anyone to yourself or others. I call this “psychic litter.” Whenever a negative thought, old childhood wounds, old fights and arguments, or work gossip pop into your head, say out loud to yourself, “Delete. This is none of my business. It’s in the past and there is nothing I can do to change it.” Replace this thought with something positive.
4. Find something positive about another person and give them a sincere compliment. I love to give elder women compliments on their beautiful white hair, nail polish, or lipstick. Sometimes I can see that the cashier is exhausted and tired and I try to find something no matter how small to compliment them on to brighten their day.
5. Pretend that you live in a world where people can only see what’s in your heart and your deepest thoughts. What will others see if they could only see your truest beliefs? Are you jealous of other peoples’ success? Do you have a library of excuses for not reaching your full potential? Do you think good thoughts about yourself? Are you filled with anger? Is your body in the present time, but your heart and mind live in the past?
6. Say no to requests of your time and resources that causes you to feel emotionally or financially over extended. Being a charismatic person means loving yourself enough to do what is clearly in your own best interest.
Most people worry about their body image, how much they weight, should they get plastic surgery, or whether or not they have the perfect shoes to match their outfit; but people who are truly charismatic don’t worry about their level of physical attractiveness nearly as much as they focus on baring their naked soul. If people could really see you—I mean the real you—underneath and outside of your body—is your soul beautiful?