Italian Weddings: It all comes down to Money!
Piani di matrimonio (Who Pays?)
It is not unusual for modern couples to forgo the who-pays-for-what discussions and it has become more like a "he-who-has-it-pays-for-it" principal. This is because it takes a lot of money to set up your own home (a mettere su casa). In Italy people usually do not get married unless they have substantial financial backing. For example, a couple must be able to move into a luxuriously furnished apartment or villa the day they return from their honeymoon.
Hope chests and dowrys
Italian brides were in the habit of collecting household items and clothing for their hope chests and protecting them in special hiding places. Why? Because they feared that the soldiers of an invading army might walk in and take its carefully selected contents. The girl’s family might also be given a dowry or money at the time of marriage.
Sposarsi in Chiesa
During many religious Italian bridal ceremonies a large bowed ribbon is stretched across the top of the doorways of the Catholic churches to indicate that someone is tying the knot in that place. Italian tradition has it that newlywed couples get showered by rice or paper confetti (representing money and good fortune – that’s why they use a lot of it in Italian weddings) as they come out after the church ceremony and walk through the town piazza to greet everyone.
The next day the people responsible for the public street cleaning cannot have their usual midmorning caffé because of all the extra cleanup left for them to do in the public square. In more modern times many use bubbles, so midmorning caffe will not be missed!
Regali di Matrimonio
Regardless of wealth, you can always tell how important or well-respected the parents of a couple getting married are by the size and value of the gifts brought to their son's or daughter’s wedding reception.
Italian brides and grooms today are given many gifts from relatives. Non-family members, however, also bestow a significant number of presents on them as a requital toward the father of the bride or groom.
After the ceremony in the church, wedding receptions offer a time for people to pay their respects and to thank one or more of the parents of the couple just married for special favors previously received from them.
Italian Wedding Favors
This repayment for former favors (raccomandazioni o favori) is due and payable at the bridal reception. There is a large table close to where the mothers-in-law are sitting and in clear view of all who enter with a conspicuous note placed on it in just the right spot stating the purpose for that particular table setting. It is at this table that humble debtors make their pilgrimage to leave repayment as several witnesses take inventory of the proceedings. A neat handwritten notebook will later become the custodian of precise descriptions as to who came to give and the kind and value of every single present.
But woe to those who forget to come and worship! The unfortunate few who treat the obligation they have for repayment with contempt, are left to face a harsh reality and will have to deal with the disastrous effect of having acquired a reputation for not having respected the accepted rules of that time-honored society.
Wondering where the idea of passing the hat came from? Or the idea of paying a dollar to dance with the bride or groom? This tradition originated from an old wedding custom in Italy, still practiced today, where the bride will carry a satin purse around at the reception to collect monetary gifts from the guests. This money is then used to pay for the honeymoon and any other expenses for the newlyweds.
However, in Italy, lack of openhandedness is not usually a problem. Italian wedding programs can accommodate for everything, even some hard cash at the last moment.
It is not unusual for modern couples to forgo the who-pays-for-what discussions and it has become more like a "he-who-has-it-pays-for-it" principal. This is because it takes a lot of money to set up your own home (a mettere su casa). In Italy people usually do not get married unless they have substantial financial backing. For example, a couple must be able to move into a luxuriously furnished apartment or villa the day they return from their honeymoon.
Hope chests and dowrys
Italian brides were in the habit of collecting household items and clothing for their hope chests and protecting them in special hiding places. Why? Because they feared that the soldiers of an invading army might walk in and take its carefully selected contents. The girl’s family might also be given a dowry or money at the time of marriage.
Sposarsi in Chiesa
During many religious Italian bridal ceremonies a large bowed ribbon is stretched across the top of the doorways of the Catholic churches to indicate that someone is tying the knot in that place. Italian tradition has it that newlywed couples get showered by rice or paper confetti (representing money and good fortune – that’s why they use a lot of it in Italian weddings) as they come out after the church ceremony and walk through the town piazza to greet everyone.
The next day the people responsible for the public street cleaning cannot have their usual midmorning caffé because of all the extra cleanup left for them to do in the public square. In more modern times many use bubbles, so midmorning caffe will not be missed!
Regali di Matrimonio
Regardless of wealth, you can always tell how important or well-respected the parents of a couple getting married are by the size and value of the gifts brought to their son's or daughter’s wedding reception.
Italian brides and grooms today are given many gifts from relatives. Non-family members, however, also bestow a significant number of presents on them as a requital toward the father of the bride or groom.
After the ceremony in the church, wedding receptions offer a time for people to pay their respects and to thank one or more of the parents of the couple just married for special favors previously received from them.
Italian Wedding Favors
This repayment for former favors (raccomandazioni o favori) is due and payable at the bridal reception. There is a large table close to where the mothers-in-law are sitting and in clear view of all who enter with a conspicuous note placed on it in just the right spot stating the purpose for that particular table setting. It is at this table that humble debtors make their pilgrimage to leave repayment as several witnesses take inventory of the proceedings. A neat handwritten notebook will later become the custodian of precise descriptions as to who came to give and the kind and value of every single present.
But woe to those who forget to come and worship! The unfortunate few who treat the obligation they have for repayment with contempt, are left to face a harsh reality and will have to deal with the disastrous effect of having acquired a reputation for not having respected the accepted rules of that time-honored society.
Wondering where the idea of passing the hat came from? Or the idea of paying a dollar to dance with the bride or groom? This tradition originated from an old wedding custom in Italy, still practiced today, where the bride will carry a satin purse around at the reception to collect monetary gifts from the guests. This money is then used to pay for the honeymoon and any other expenses for the newlyweds.
However, in Italy, lack of openhandedness is not usually a problem. Italian wedding programs can accommodate for everything, even some hard cash at the last moment.
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