Supermom is a fantasy.

Supermom doesn't exist, nor should she. If it's dad's time to have the children and the children become sick with a cold, dad can stay home with them. If it's dad's time to have the children but Suzie has a sleep over, then dad can drive her. If it's dad's time to have the children and there is a big game, dance, party, what-have-you, then dad can have the pleasure. If dad says no, and your child will miss out, and that is your excuse for parenting for him, then you've been had. Most parents will not actually make their children miss out on important events on a regular basis.

If you are doing the above and more “for the children”, stop it. The children will not die if they miss one event or function, but the other parent will suffer the consequences of their choice if made just to punish you. Enjoy your child-free time, make plans on your child-free time, be single on your child free time. If you're remarried, make plans with your husband! Have fun! You cannot be the only parent all the time.

The one good thing about divorce, if there is to be one, is the fact that you get to share the children in such a way that you get to be free at least every other weekend. Maybe more, and that really is a good thing.

Disney Dad is a sad story.

Disney Dad does not exist, nor should he. However, I know many fathers who entertain non stop during their parenting time and the children come to expect it. Dad's go out to eat, to the movie, to the zoo, many theme parks are the order of the day. Dad's are fun, they don't make children do chores, they let them eat candy and coke for breakfast. Dad's allow children to be snotty and rude to them. Dad's feel guilty. No is not a word that comes from Daddy's lips during “visitation”. Stop it, say no, grow up, be a dad. Don't be a bottomless wallet and you won't be treated like an ATM.

If you're the dad above, get a clue. If you're trying to do what is right for the children and this is your way, stop it. When you have your children you're not visiting them. You're parenting them. You need to find ways to spend quality normal family time with your children in the same way that mom does. If you don't, you're going to regret it because you will start resenting all those things you do and you will also create spoiled rotten children.

Next parenting time, go on a picnic, do laundry, clean house, make the kids do chores with you, eat dinner at the table. If your children are old enough, plan a menu and cook it together, if they're young, they'll probably eat almost anything but they will most enjoy your time and your attention more than going to Disney.


Divorced Parents are Parents

Parents, make sure you're being fair to yourselves and the children. Don't go through your life being so guilty you create these stereo typical divorced parents for your children. The divorce does not have to be the end of normal family life. Both moms and dads can and do parent their children successfully after divorce. Neither parent should be a push over either to the kids or to the other parent. Remember that your children are watching you and they learn by what they see.