Guest Author - Denise Oliveri
Telling jokes is a way to relieve stress and cheer you up. The Bible says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22 ~ NIV) So enjoy some of these clean Christian jokes.
~~A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers," Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep." Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!" "There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf." "No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is." ~ Author Unknown
~~A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu. The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?" The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this is that Mom has." ~ Author Unknown
~~An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar, "I thought she said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David - he rocked Goliath to sleep.
~~A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
~~A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5- and 6-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" One little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
~~Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?" Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left-handed." This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?" "Well," said Bobby, "We learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!