Most of the time when parents get a divorce, a former stay at home parent must do something hard and scary. That something is getting a job outside the home. It’s hard enough to feel like you’re going to be a single parent, but having to get a job too might make you consider staying in a bad marriage even if it is better to move on.

On the other foot is the “working” parent who now must find a way to learn to parent their child during their custodial time without direction or help from the career parent. Gosh, the “working” parent might even have to miss work to care for a sick child. Once a divorce happens, sacrifices must be made for the sake of the children. If it is expected that both parents work outside the home then there must be an equal distribution of the work involved with childcare.

I know that it is hard to call your ex when you need help, but as your child’s other parent, equally a parent in every way that you are, that is what they are there for! Maybe you’re not best friends now, but the fact is, you two have children together and you must feel free to call on each other for advice, and assistance when it comes to the children. Even though you are divorced, you should still be a united front as parents for the sake of the children.

When both parents work, it makes life a lot easier on everyone if time off caring for sick children can be shared. Oftentimes it is a big factor in being able to keep a job. One reason stay at home parents are often married to high-income earners is because the working parent does not have to miss any work for family reasons. The working parent in a marriage is free to concentrate 100 percent on his job and the stay at home parent is free to concentrate 100 percent on the children.

When parents divorce, they both have to give up being able to rely 100 percent on the other for either income, or child rearing. However, they can now share so that both can succeed equally in working outside the home, and inside the home. Having someone to rely on to help with carting children to after school activities, doctors’ appointments, and play dates can be a lifesaver.

In addition, studies have shown that parental involvement is a major factor in child support collection. Non-custodial parents who have more involvement in their children’s day-to-day lives typically pay their child support on time and without any type of coercion. They also typically provide more than the minimum required by the courts because they have a better picture of the reality of the costs. The affect on the children is immeasurable, children with involved parents are less likely to get pregnant or use drugs; they get better grades, and excel in relationships.

Former stay at home parents have to change their expectations when it comes to who will pay the bills, but former bread winners have to change too, they will need to start taking time off work to parent their children. Honestly, what could be better than that?