Guest Author - Michelle L. Pendergrass

A church my family once visited seemed to have it all together. A smiling couple greeted us with a handshake, a bulletin and a welcome bag. We were shown to the kids area and then to the sanctuary. The music was great, the sermon was terrific, we thought it might be the church we could attend full time. We kept going to this church for a couple of months and a few people started to recognize us, they'd nod their heads in greeting or say hello in passing.

All this effort went into making a newcomer feel welcome and I remember the first few weeks we did feel good. However, what I noticed was that my husband and I would hear about something, say a group study or a new ministry, that we were interested in and we'd slap our signatures on their clipboard sign-up sheets with our contact information hoping to get involved. No one ever called. The first time, we passed it off. When it happened the second, third, and fourth times, though we were left feeling a bit vulnerable. We started to feel as if we didn't really matter, like we'd been lied to and fooled by all of the hospitality the church offered upon entering as a guest.

Do you ever feel this way? Alone in a church full of people? Do you ever feel as if no one really knows you're there?

Yeah, me too. I think it happens to all of us at some time or another. We think that there's not a soul on this earth who could possibly understand what we're feeling, we feel duped, let down, disappointed. Sometimes that leads to bouts of depression.

I'm by no means an expert, but I'd love to share what helps me in times that I'm feeling alone. First, I pray. It's not always a long prayer, sometimes it is simply me crying, "Help me get through this." Second, I ask God what I can do. I've never had an instance that an idea didn't come to me. Don't misunderstand, the solution didn't fall from the sky the moment I finished my question, but it has always come--from my experience--within a few days. The final step I've taken is action. If you're like me, you'll get an idea and shake it around in your head and then get distracted only to find weeks have gone by, then it seems as if they opportunity has passed. When the Holy Spirit plants an idea, take action.

Praying, asking God what He wants and action on his answer has always proved to be a viable solution to my loneliness.