When going through the divorce process one of the things we often forget about is our will. During your marriage, you were probably confident in your spouse’s ability to make decisions for you should you become incapacitated and if you died of course your spouse would inherit all your assets and take care of the children.

Now that you’re going through a divorce, you have to rethink things. Every situation is different so what you do depends upon your own individual situation. Your attorney can help you with these decisions but only you really know your ex and yourself and your children’s needs.

Things to consider:

1. Life Insurance

Should you allow your ex to own life insurance on you? Should you make your ex the beneficiary if you die on insurance that you own? Should you assign the money to a trust? Keep in mind that depending upon your income your life insurance limits vary. In a situation of divorce and possible remarriage, you should not assign all your life insurance to your first family.

Your attorney or a financial planner can better evaluate your situation and can answer these questions and more if you are open and honest about everything.

Sometimes we are private about our financial circumstances to the point of not giving enough information to those who can best advice us. This is not the time to be private. Tell your lawyer everything and mention all your concerns so that this professional can help you achieve your goals.

2. Your Estate

Again, the question is, who should inherit your estate? Should it be put in trust for your children with your ex or another party carrying out your prewritten wishes? On the other hand, do you trust your ex to do the right thing without written instructions? Truly, I believe it is best to always have everything in writing at all times even if you get along famously with your ex this will help them follow your wishes. If they are truly looking after your best interests, they will not mind the written rules. Do not forget about your 401K or Sep IRA via your employer. Make sure you change all your forms at work to reflect your new situation.

3. Custody of your children

More than likely your ex will have custody of your children should you die, no matter what you put in your will. However, in some circumstances it is wise to list an alternative that you both agree on should you both be unable to care for the children. This is something that you should discuss with your ex, as well as with the professionals. If you have a good relationship with your ex it should not be a problem coming up with someone to care for the children. If you don’t get along with your ex you’re going to have to list someone knowing that your spouses wishes may override your choice. That is ok, put what you want in writing anyway.

4. Who will pull your plug?

If you should become incapacitated and unable to make decisions for yourself who do you trust to make decisions that will affect your and your children’s lives forever? Do you still trust your ex to pull the plug, or would you rather someone else make that choice. If you do not put it in writing, if you become unable to make choices for yourself and you are not married, your parents or closest living adult relative will make the decisions. Identify that person to determine if you want that person making that choice or not. If you are still married but separated in some states your soon to be ex still has this right unless you specifically specify someone else in your living will.

Now more than ever it is important to have a living will, a will and a trust to make sure that your wishes are carried out or at least that they are known. Listen to the professionals, listen to your gut, and you will make the right choices.