I am asked often how long does a divorce take? Well, the answer is not as clear-cut as it could be. Two main factors determine how long your divorce process will last. One factor is whether or not you and your soon to be ex can come to a mutually satisfying agreement without going to a trial. The second is how long the waiting period after you file is, if one exists in your state.

There are states such as Florida with no waiting period for uncontested divorces, and other states have waiting periods from the date you file until your case can be heard from 5 days to as long as 6 months.

Usually the divorce is final upon the court granting a divorce with the exception of the remarriage waiting periods which can range from zero days up to 10 months (Louisiana). However, other than remarriage you are divorced for all other purposes from the date the divorce is granted and pronounced final.

These waiting periods can come as a shock to some people who have waited a long time to file after separation or just want to get their divorce over. It can seem strange to have so much waiting when you both agree on the terms of your divorce. These waiting times are designed to prevent divorces making it harder to just jump from marriage to marriage so keep that in mind as you come to terms with your ex spouse that even if you two agree, the state may have other ideas. There are some states, though it is rare, which will even disallow a marriage to someone who has cheated if it is proven, so be on the look out for that if that happens to be your situation.

Many states also require counseling for all parties to the divorce before a divorce can be granted. Usually this counseling is about joint parenting, visitation, child support, and issues that can pop up during your divorce causing more delays. It is important if your state requires this type of counseling that you participate in it in a timely manner so as not to cause more delays. Also, follow all standing orders in your state. Even if you have not filed yet, and you are separated, most states still have standing orders to parents regarding conduct, times of visitation, and other important factors like moving away. Look up the laws in your state or ask your attorney.

If you and your spouse cannot come to a settlement agreement, the waiting times can become even longer. In many states, the court system is so backed up that if you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement your court date will be up to 2 years after you have filed for divorce. It would be better to listen to your attorney, seek mediation or perhaps a collaborative lawyer and find out what the normal orders are from judges in your area before you become too acrimonious.

Most awards are about the same, regardless of your circumstances so why not just come to an agreement based on the probable rulings the judge is going to make anyway. This will save both time and money in the end, and make your divorce go faster. With child support guidelines firmly in place now, it is not likely you are going to get more than the allotted amount so there is no point in fighting that point if your ex is not willing to give you more. Alimony varies by state, but more and more, alimony is rarely given but in the most extraordinary situations and both men and women have to pay it.

Seriously consider whether what you are asking for or willing to give is fair and whether or not a judge will do better. Oftentimes when a divorce goes before a judge both parties wind up with less than they thought they would. They also end up spending a lot more money than the “award” is worth. Consider what is fair, but also consider what your courts normally award. Fair is not always on their agenda.