Guest Author - L. Drea Strasser

You’re decided to join the world of online dating. You’ve checked out several sites and decided to create a profile about yourself. So what do you do when someone contacts you?

1. Don’t panic. Be excited that someone sees you for the gem that you are.

2. Read their profile. Learn more about the person who has reached out. Do they fall in line with the criteria you’ve set? If not, why? Is your criteria too lofty?

3. Respond to their message. Decide whether you’d like to get to know this person or not and reply accordingly. It’s proper etiquette to send a message saying you’re not interested if that’s the case. Just think how you would feel if you had a big crush on someone, but they never ever responded to your “hello” message. Be nice but send an FYI.

4. Have a conversation. Spend some time having a conversation online (via email) to learn more about this person. Ask questions to keep the ball rolling. Remember a conversation isn’t one-sided. Tell about yourself. What do you like to do for fun? Do you have pets? How do you make a living?

5. Don’t give out your phone number right away. Allow some time to pass so that you can build up a sense of trust with the other person. Nothing says “desperate” or “psycho killer” like exchanging phone numbers too soon.

6. On the flip side, if you receive a phone number immediately, think about why somebody would give you their personal info so quickly. Is it because they can only check email at the library every two weeks? Do they say their computer is so slow and they can text faster than trying to have a conversation online? Not all motives are bad, just be cautious.

7. Have fun. Always remember that dating is supposed to be enjoyable. If you’re not having a good time with the conversations, you will end up feeling like you’re trying to fill an open position, rather than looking for love and romance.

8. So you’re decided you’re ready to meet in person. MEET SOMEWHERE PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME! No matter how many conversations you’ve had, until you meet you can’t be sure that “cuteandfunny78” is who she appears to be.

9. Enjoy your date! Remember that this person is already attracted to what you’ve told her you are about. Relax and go with the flow.

10. Call her within 2-3 days, unless the two of you arranged something sooner. Too soon, unplanned, seems desperate; longer seems uninterested.

The moral: Enjoy yourself. Be yourself. Be your own best seller…you are unique and you should explain why. It’s a sales pitch! BE HONEST! Above all, be honest. The world is your oyster. Good luck!