• The reason why our bras don't always match our outfit is because we actually change our underwear.

• We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance --in fact -- please do!

• Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life --you'll never see the "island" coming.

• Your balding is a good thing --it subsidizes our hair care expenses.

• When you're out with us, wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" --the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

• If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. a negative grunt.

• Don't insist that we "get off the damn phone" and then not talk to us.

• Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

• If we watch football with you, it's not bonding -- it's the butts we're looking at...

• We don't care if you hold the remote -- unlike you however, we don't enjoy watching 27 seconds of 117 different programs.

• If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday or when you're treating us to dinner and a show.

• No, we're not impressed with your car -- it takes no special skills to make car payments each month.

• Please don't attempt to drive when you're not driving...

• The next time you joke about female drivers, check the number of accidents caused by men rubber-necking at mini-skirted females.

• Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

• Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of showers/baths you take.

• If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed...

• The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim inside the toilet rim.

• If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

• Have a strong need for male bonding ? Visit your proctologist...

• Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care!

• Yes, we do look at other men. However, we don't drool like you do when you check out "babes."

• Don't fret if you find out that the mailman delivers more than once a day...

• When you're not around, we belch loudly too.

• Your contributions to your children should go above and beyond that "Y" chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

• Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

• Some women actually know more about a car and the mechanics involved than you do.

• Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

• Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men --why is it then you never want to cook?

• We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

• Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss for one...

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Laptop Batteries

Brasiere