What Your Cat Wants You To Know

If your feline friend could speak your language, here a few things she would probably like you to know.

1. I am the boss of you. Get used to it. I decide when I want your company. I am not a dog who relies on you to make these choices in our relationship.
2. I am fenicky. I like the food I like and I will not eat the cheap stuff. I prefer to have the nasty, overnight water left in my dish dumped first thing in the morning. If you cannot accommodate this need, Do Not Yell At Me when you see me desperately dipping my head into the toilet for some fresh water. Believe me, it's not something I Want To Be Doing - But If You Don't Take Care Of Me Properly - I simply have no choice.
3. I like my space. I choose my space. I pick special places through out Our House to lay in the sun, take my afternoon nap, relax after dinner etc... Deal with it. Do not expect me to clean up my own hair. I cannot help it if I shed on your precious sofa, and I personally don't really care if I leave a little bit of me behind on my Favorite places.
4. I do not want to have a new "sister" or "brother" ie: feline relative. If they came to live with you when I did that's fine. If you're trying to improve the quality of my life by giving me a new friend, Forget About It... I don't want one. I like being the Queen/King of Our Domain. I do not want to share my palace with anyone.
5. I like you and I like your children (or most of them). But I chose when I want to be bothered with the youngsters. Please do not push them on me when I'm clearly not in the mood to play, which consequently results in me being forced to let them know I do not want interact with them in the only way I know how - by hissing, scratching, or trying to run away. My actions inevitably lead to you yelling at me for showing my feelings. So we could make life much simpler, if You prevented this whole scenario from the start.
6. I have certain innate needs - like the need for something to scratch - Please make both of our lives easier by getting me something just for this purpose... So I do not have to resort to using the back of the chair, the carpet, the comforter or the front porch screen (which will definitely result in you having to Yell at me yet once more for something that I have a natural desire to do...)
7. Remember You picked me. You decided to bring me into your home. I did not pick you. I had no choice. Yet I treat you with respect and love, thus you should treat me equally as well...