Guest Author - Sunniej Jackson

Or this article could be entitled "Keeping our children from getting away".

I noticed in a recent news story that a young girl left the country to meet a young man that she met only on the internet. This really made me think…. What are we as parents missing. How was she able to convince her parents that she needed a passport to go on a trip with her friend’s family? Did her parents speak with the friend’s parents directly to confirm the trip and the need for a passport including dates of departure and return? What could he have possibly said or shown to her that prompted her to sneak away from home to go half way around the world to a foreign land and culture. What was missing or wrong in her life that made this make sense to her?


There were a lot of questions that were unanswered for me which really bothered me greatly. This incident emphasized the need to be not only conscious but also wary not only of the friendships that are developed by our children in schools and our neighborhoods but also “associations” that are formed on the internet. This is a new threat that we have to be fully aware of. The recent story of the young lady ended with her returning home safely but definitely could have gone "way" wrong.


Are we giving our children enough attention and more importantly enough affection that they know that they are loved and wanted? In lots of families both parents are employed full time to be able to afford our children the “better things in life” have we forgotten that spending concentrated time with parents is very important in our children’s development. In a vast number of households there is only one parent who is the breadwinner and caregiver and statistics show how harmful this situation can be for our children to handle. The relationships we form and the bonds we create shape our children for their future relationships and expectations.


We need to speak to our children about the dangers of the internet. Yes, the internet is a great tool and resource for massive amounts of information but also has its pitfalls obviously for young impressionable people but it is not limited just to them. We need to advise our children about overall identity safety and the “unreal” world of internet communities. Let them know that there is no verification of identity or credentials on these sites and that there are lots of different types of predators lurking to take advantage of their naivety (of course they don’t think they are – so be gentle but to the point).


We need to teach our children to avoid revealing too personal information about themselves and their families to perfect strangers no matter where the sites state that they live. We need to teach our children the real meaning of friendship and the vast different between friends and associates and how to act accordingly.


As the world changes with technology, the whole world is becoming a very small place and instances like this recent event will become more and more commonplace. I have read a number of similar stories to this one but this one stuck me to be a bit more dramatic because of the insane distance the girl was willing to travel. I really hope that the family evaluates these actions closely and seek guidance if needed to help the daughter understand the seriousness of her actions to help her make better decisions in the future and open the doors wide for communication.


Our children have a lot of challenges to face on the way to becoming productive citizens, let’s continue to focus on accepting our responsibility as parents and concentrate on preparing them to avoid the pitfalls. The I'm too busy syndrome is not going to work if we are going to protect and tcach the next generation. Some things we can teach from past experiences and some things we have to teach based on love, open communication and common sense.

Look at your schedule now and plan in some ongoing “family time” with your children and make time immediately to have an open discussion covering the veiled dangers lurking on the internet as soon as possible. Don’t think that this problem is age restricted – if your children know how to use a computer, have internet access and unsupervised free time it is likely that they will find there way to chat rooms and web communities.


Remember that old saying – An ounce of prevention….!





FBI K-5 safety tips

http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/safety2.htm