Guest Author - Sunniej Jackson

I remember more years ago than I want to count….. that when I recollect the period of my life when I was striving to produce a son that the one positive memory of the experience is of my physician.

You have to realize that this was an unbelievable situation for me to comprehend after having two very healthy daughters I was now unable to have a normal pregnancy and bring the concept of a son to reality. I was healthy with a promising career, healthy daughters and suddenly I have a miscarriage a little before the end of the first trimester. What a shocker! It all happened so suddenly from the onset of the miscarriage to the emergency room and then it was all over and back to work.

My GYN was as baffled as I was and I still am. This put a damper on the plan but only for a short time and then I was pregnant again. Of course, I took it easier, wore lower heels, ate healthier, got more rest and then it happened again. Now, we all were even more baffled.

My GYN was a fertility specialist after all and I obviously didn’t have a problem getting pregnant but holding onto the fetus was becoming a major problem still with no explanation. OK, let’s try once more and we started all over again but this time I was also seeing a specialist that was monitoring my hormones and ran all kinds of tests and still did not come up with any definitive answers. Although, it was suggested that I had Lupus – (which is an immune disease where your own antibodies attacks your own organs) and maybe my antibodies were attacking the fetus, however, this was never confirmed. So, now I was put on a daily regiment of special ointments and had to get shots regularly to assist my body to not betray me.

At last it was time to celebrate, I have made it past the breaking point and I was happily going for my first visit with my new GYN that handled high risk pregnancies. It was on that first visit upon examining me that she stated we needed to do an ultrasound immediately and I was rushed upstairs to have it done right away. Sadly, it was announced that the fetus was no longer viable. I couldn’t believe it – I really thought we were going to make it this time. Unfortunately the new GYN was no longer interested in me and was scheduling a procedure for the following week to remove the dead fetus if my body didn’t reject it sooner. How thoughtless and uncaring can one woman be to another! Carry around a dead fetus not knowing when you will miscarry… Well, I called my regular GYN who had started this rollercoaster experience with me and had been there all the way and explained what “She wanted me to do” which he could not believe. He immediately told me to check into the hospital and we would handle this together.

My GYN (I still call him that to this day) knew how nervous I would get before any kind of procedures as we had undergone a laparoscopy to see if I had an ectopic pregnancy, as well as all the cleansing procedures after each miscarriage. He was a big teddy bear of a man with the kindest eyes and the gentlest manner. He would come personally and escort me from my hospital room straight into the operating room to reduce my anxiety. Everyone would say you must really be special for him to come and get you but I bet he treated all his patients with this care addressing their needs – mine was fear and he knew it.

After the last time, when he came into check on me before leaving the hospital he sat on the side of the bed held my hand and looked at me with those caring eyes and said if you want to try again – I’ll hold it in personally. Which of course made me smile but I thanked him for all he had done and said that I was giving up it just wasn’t meant to be.

Dr. Weisman was truly a blessing at a very trying time in my life and he was my angel. I don’t know if he ever realized how much of a difference he made but I do know all of his patients loved him. I can only wish this kind of attending physician for every woman who has gone through this situation once, twice…. Not all physicians are like this unfortunately as we all know and they sure make me miss him more. I moved away and he still is on the list of things I miss most from home.

If you are going through medical issues (whether physical or emotional), add to your list of fixes:
1. Find a doctor who cares and treats you like you and your personal crisis matter.