Guest Author - L. Drea Strasser

You butt heads all the time. You argue about everything. You both fight for control. What do you do when there is relationship "static"?

You like the same things: food, wine, the beach, independent films. You have the same goals for the future: marriage (where legal), family, moving abroad. But you fight all the time.

The easy solution is to end it. I mean, who can take all the fighting? Neither of you likes who you've become, so let's just end it, right?

If arguing makes you feel alive, maybe you stay.

Maybe you hold on, hoping somewhere down the road things will get better.

Or maybe this relationship, to survive, needs a lot of work from both of you. One of you (at least) has to put your foot down and flat out REFUSE to fight. Walk away. Hang up the phone. If you are the forceful type, you can say something like "this conversation is over". Good luck with that one.

Couples counseling is a good idea. You can learn how what you say affects your partner, as well as new tactics to try when in an argument. Also, ways to compromise and how to avoid arguments in the first place can be focus points.

Of course, you can try various techniques on your own without professional help. Just be willing to concede to a stronger approach should one be indicated.

Take some time and decide while you're alone what it is that you really want. Do you just want to be single? Is the outcome of working things out worth the investment of time and energy? Take things one day at a time, follow your heart, and work the rest out as it comes.